Judge — May 3, 1913 — page 19: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

the hall. Reporters made up all that other stuff.’ The fact that he did not try to condone, but denied the affair, saved the day, and Mudd was re-elected that fall. Lest We Forget Congressman Carter Glass, of Virginia, isastanch believer in that old proverb which says that honesty is the best pol- icy (out of politics, at least), Yet he admits that it is often difficult for the honest to obtain redress from the dishon- est in this day and time, Glass was stopped suddenly one morning, on the street of his home town, by a darky who had at one time been employed on the Glass estate. “Mistah Glass, suh, Mistah Glass!"’ yelled the colored man. ‘‘Jest amomint, % . RS. suh, please! I gotta question to axe you, suh. What a gen’l’man gwine do when a low-down niggah done tole a lie on him?” Glass considered thoughtfully. ‘‘Well, that depends, Sam. There are degrees of lies, you understand. Some black lies require physical chastisement. Others merit a more delicate treatment, being of a class known to science as white lies. What did this man say of you?”’ “We wuz playin’ cyards down to the caffy last night, an’ he done say I had a ace cyard up mah slebe.’” “And did you?’’ asked Glass severely. “Deed Ah didn’t hab no one ace cyard up mah slebe, suh,’’ protested the darky. “The fack is, Ah had two.”” The Senator's Finances Senator Jim Harrison, of Santa Cruz, Ariz., is accattle baron, He delights in helping make laws for his people, but he delights more in managing the herds of hisbig ranch. When Senator Jim reached Phenix to attend the legislative session, he had just concluded the sale of a large shipment of steers and had considerable money in his pocke' “I want a room,’ he said to the clerk of a Phoenix hotel. “All right, sir,” re: ‘plied the clerk. “Three dollars, please. “I never pay in advance, the senator. “Nothing doing,”’ replied the clerk, “Well, go and get your change,’’ said the senator, handing the clerk a check for $38,000. protested i n aI When beer is pure there is nothing more healthful. no biliousness. Schlitz kept pure. Pure beer brings no after-effect, is not only made pure but is Light starts decay even in pure beer. Dark glass gives the best pro- tection against light. The Brown Bottle protects Schlitz purity from the brewery to your glass. Perhaps if you, too, would drink Schlitz— Schlitz in Brown Bottles— you would have an altogether different idea about beer. Schlitz in Brown Bottles should be your regular beer. See that crown or cork is branded “‘Schlitz.’” S ( Wettéy GEMS 7 a ring, pinorstud for rmiaation tg advance. ‘Write today fo oeaure WATE VALLEY GEM Cov 23 Saks Bag READ THE MAGAZINE OF FUN MAY ISSUE 10c At All Newsstands 10c copy THIS SKETCH LIQUID PISTOL Will stop the most vicious dog (or man) without permanent injur In answering advertisements plcase mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com