Judge, 1913-03-15 · page 7 of 24
Judge — March 15, 1913 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is a satirical short story (not a political cartoon) about marital infidelity disguised as a hat-shop anecdote. The narrator, a French hat salesman, witnesses a husband (Silas Robins) flirting with a young woman customer (Chicette) while his wife shops. The wife grows suspicious, confronts the pair, and catches her husband complimenting Chicette—"It suits yer to a tee" (a double entendre). Enraged, the wife refuses to purchase the hats and storms out. The satire targets two things: the hypocrisy of respectable society (husbands conducting affairs in public), and the powerlessness of service workers caught between quarreling customers. The title's irony suggests marriages, like hats, are valued by surface appearance rather than genuine worth. The small illustration shows the embarrassed moment of discovery.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
waa SSS ——— SOLD FOR FACE VALUE these three girls. And they laugh, they flirt, they pose, these girls, and they see me not behind the curtain. I return to madam all abashed. ‘*Mon- sieur, he admires the hats,’’ I say in ex- planation. ‘‘In one moment he will re- turn.’’ I shall once more engage her to attention, I think, as I pick up another hat, It is wonderful, is it not, my friend, the flash of comprehension that goes across the human countenance? At once madam has the small suspicion, for she look at me with penetration. “I shall speak with him,’’ she say, arising. Could I prevent it, monsieur. Madam takes one look adown the room, and I take a look ather. I do not like her face, monsieur! “Call them away,’ she say to me, as one speak to the little dog. And then I am bewildered. I cannot obey madam, for I must not offend monsieur. It is the husband who pays the bills, my friend. dam does not wait to parley, but goes straight down the room, and I follow in her wake. “They are young, these girls, madam,’’ I.say apologetically. “‘Young!"’ she say to me. depraved !"” Iam annoyed. Myself I am not un- pleasing, but in the business I efface my- self, I think, as we near the case. But I am just, even in my agitation. Not before do any men grab the hats. We see the son as he puts the hats on two; it is the father who alone adorns Chicette. As we approach, he puts a hat “They are EASY REBUS FOR TIRED SPORTS. What Golf Expression does this represent ? upon her head and he puts a boa about her neck, and she smiles up in his eyes. “You ought to have that ruffle. It suits yer to a tee,’’ this the husband is 8 ig to Chicette. “Silas! Horace!’? madam calls out be- fore we stop, and no one hears us in their oblivion. ° Madam steps softly behind the case of hats. “*Silas!'’ she speaks out loudly; and Silas hears and turns to us the eyes that are a-scare. Monsieur, to you I speak the truth: Silas, he look like unto the rabbit that is about to dart to shelter! “Where is my hat? Bring me my own hat!’’ madam says suddenly to me. Then she looks once more upon her husband. “Silas Robins, I shall never forgive you!’’ she says, in an awful tone; and from her face, monsieur, I know she never will! Chicette has obtained her hat, and she snatch it rudely from her. We will leave here at once!’’ she tell the men, and we all move toward the door. “But, madam,’’ I say, ‘‘the hats which you have bought? Where shall I send the hats?"’ “T will not take them!’’ she snap at comicbooks.com