Judge — March 15, 1913 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

te A BARGAIN. Mr. Wyde—Hit waiter, there's a chicken in this egg. Mr. Narroww—'Sb) don't tell him, He charged me a dollar for one yesterday, an’ it wasn't much bigger than that ‘un, is only just arranged. The side boudoirs we have lit, and they shine out the red, the white and the pale pink glow. Inmy salon we have all kinds of lights, for all kinds of complexions. He, heh! I laugh myself at my duplicities! In the mail there is for me a letter. From a customer of the best is this, my friend, and she writes to me thus cordial: “For Madam Juliette, of the Emporium Francais,’ she begins. She continues: “To you I send my relative, who needs so much the hats. To her you give the best, showing all the consideration.’’ The letter, monsieur. This new customer comes at once, for I hold the letter in my hand. As I see her, I have the instant comprehension and the pleasure. The relative is from the provinces, she is rich, and she will buy much. I clap my hands. Attention Babette, Lulette, Chicette! Conductor—No, madam, dogs without a license are not allowed on cars, Madam comes not alone; there is with her the husband and their son. Madam is large and red, with the hair so flat and the mouth so grim. The son he is a stripling who stands above his parents, and the father has a face that sinks back- ward into a carrot beard. I apprehend some trouble with madam. But, no. To me she is most gracious and she tell me of Schohat This is her native place, and she say what you can get in that large town. Oh, my! it must be a place, this fine Schoharie! And now I am to madam all attention. To this case and to that I point, and Ba- bette, Lulette and Chicette take out the hats and put them on their head. And they walk up and down, they glide about, these girls, they sink intoachair. These are what you call the stunts we have ar- ranged for exhibition. Madam is pleased and she indicate so many hats she will try on. Ah, monsieur, I am not stupid, but I notice naught unusual of that hus- band and his son. They seem to only stare at Babette, Lulette, Chicette, as they stand alone together by a chair. As I sip this wine delicious, I forget my agitation of the morning; I forget these girls so beautiful they turn the heads of men. Ah, la, la, la! I will not listentoyou! Flatterers are very danger- ous, my mother tell me in my youth. The tragedy it rushes on us when I re- tire with madam to a boudoir at the side. Upon her bright red face I turn a soft white light, and on her head I place a hat of blue. She is transformed, and she forgets all there is except herself. She buys and buys and buys the hats, and I am lost in my own successes. Lady—Come, Fido, get up there; you can ride on the cars all right. THE UTILITY HAT PRESENT AND FUTURE PUNISHMENT, His dad—Jobnny, where will you be when you are a middle-aged man if you keep up this kind of conduct ? Jchnny—Dunno, I know where you'll be, but I ain't a-goin’ to tell. Then, with a hat of brown, she needs monsieur the husband to ask of him the judgment. I agree with madam this is wise, and with no alarm I look from be- hind the curtain. Where is the husband and the son? I ask myself as I gaze about the room. What think you, eh? Listen to me, my friend. At the far end of my salon is a case of glass, with my best creations in it. Itstretch across the room, with the passages at the sides, and behind it the space is wide for one to walk and view the hats from every point. Back there, monsieur, screened from the sight, dimly I see close together the hus- band and his son and Babette, Lulette, Chicette. From the case they grab the hats, these men, to put upon the heads of Lady—This is what I call a utility hat, comicbooks.com