Judge, 1913-03-08 · page 5 of 24
Judge — March 8, 1913 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This Judge magazine page combines humor columns with satirical content. "The Haunted Tramp" illustration (top) depicts a disheveled vagrant near an industrial landscape—likely social commentary on homelessness and labor conditions during industrialization. The central cartoon shows three figures at a table with the caption "TWERE WELL 'TWERE QUICKLY DONE," referencing Shakespeare's *Macbeth*—a darkly comedic allusion to hasty, consequential decisions. The text sections are lighthearted social satire: "The Family Belongings" humorously catalogs organizational affiliations (golf clubs, tennis groups, political parties), mocking America's obsession with joining societies. "A Definition" plays on the word "torador," and "Assistance for the Hen" offers absurd advice about chicken-raising. The overall tone suggests turn-of-the-century American humor mixing class commentary with wordplay and domestic absurdity.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
The Family Belongings. RAN'PA belongs the G. A. R. an’ likewise R. F. D.; Gran’ma is W. T. C. U. an’ W. R. C. Father belongs the S. O. V., O. K. an’ 1.0.U.; He’s R. W. S. G. W. an’ W. G. G., too. Ma she belongs to everything that's doin’ at the church; She’s in three kinds of circles an‘ travels an’ research, My brother Thomas he belongs the Y. M. C. A. gym., An’ half a dozen diff’rent have got a tag on him, Sister Cornelia she belongs the Thespian Amateu' These fencin’ foils an’ golf sticks an’ that tennis bat are hers. My other sister, Portia, she was goin’ to belong To Votes for Women party; but, before she got it strong, ' Young Lawyer Thomson ‘cross the street got callin’ ev’ry night, An’ from the way he hugs her she belongs to him, all right. There's nothing left for me to join, an’, ’s far as I can see, I guess, exceptin’ Sunday school, I just belong to Me.—Fraterict Moxon. ‘wo clubs THE HAUNTED TRAMP A. Definition, “Paw,” inquired the humorist’s small son, looking up from his picture book, “what is a toreador?”” The humorist rubbed his Momussary gland for a minute. “Well, my son,’’ he replied, with de- liberation, ‘‘a‘toreador is a bully boy of Spain.” “"TWERE WELL "TWERE QUICKLY DONE," I've been waiting over an Patron—Look here, waiter! nour for that steak I ordered. The only one who never failed is Waiter—Yes, sir, I know it, sir. Life would be worth liv- Assistance for the Hen. WELL-KNOWN player, having pur- chased a country place on Long Is- land to which there was attached quite a garden, decided to go in one summer for chicken raising. He bought a cock and half a dozen hens, but could get no eggs. His chickens seemed vigorous and healthy, but his eggs were procured from the near- est grocery. The player decided to remedy this situation. He replied to an adver- tisement in a mail-order journal an- nouncing that, for the sum of two dollars, there would be forwarded an infallible recipe for making hens lay. In due time the amateur re- ceived this return for his money: “To make a hen lay—Tie a stout string around the hen’s body, lay the bird on her side on a board, and fasten the string underneath. If thought desirable, a pillow may be placed under the hen's head.’’ The Reason, She—I wonder why I’ve never had a proposal? Her friend—Do you never look in a mirror, dear? the one who never tried. ing, sir, if every one was as patient as you, sir. comicbooks.com