Judge, 1913-03-08 · page 22 of 24
Judge — March 8, 1913 — page 22: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page primarily consists of **advertising** for steamship lines offering Caribbean and Gulf Coast vacations. The AGWI Steamship Lines ad promotes winter cruises to tropical destinations (Cuba, Puerto Rico, Florida, etc.) as luxurious escapes, using the tagline "Ships of Sunshine." The right column contains **satirical short pieces**: 1. **"The Social Zoo"** - A class commentary where a gentleman observes a sick laborer and dismissively suggests he'll recover "in time to be of some use to his employers...by New Year's, anyhow." The satire mocks the callous upper-class attitude toward working-class suffering. 2. **"Rebellion"** - Nostalgic verse lamenting modern medicine's replacement of the old-fashioned doctor's aggressive pharmacology ("forty-nine bottles") with contemporary prescriptions of fresh air, exercise, and diet—which the speaker views as a "newfangled" swindle. The page reflects early 20th-century anxieties about modernization, class relations, and changing medical practice, all wrapped in satirical humor typical of Judge magazine's social commentary.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
That is what you should call our splendid, big steamers, be- cause they take you over smiling seas to the lands of sunshine and cheery skies, known the world over as the “American Mediterranean.” You can plan no more rewarding trip than a visit to these famous resorts bathed by the Southern Atlantic, the Gulf of Mexico and the Carib- bean Sea, including Porto Rico, Bahamas, Cuba, Mexico, Florida, Texas and Santo Domingo. You can choose no better route than the AGW STEAMSHIP LINES ° Write today and let us tell you how to get the most enjoyment out of your winter outing, and send you beautiful illustrated free copy of A.G. W.I. Steamship News. Address any of the following steam- ship lines: Clyde Line 70, FLORIDA, calling at Charleston and "Roahen veo Jacksonville with conngctions for all leading From Pier 36, North River, New York. sre To. Texas, all points Southwest and Mallory Line prageCoun!! Euhlensine te rose h ip, to Calveston, feet, 2 St, Petersburg an: Nigbiie. “Only route New York to Texas without change: From Pier 45, North River, New York. 5 se You will enjoy this wonderful, trip Porto Rico Line (yz usni(Bechantment." big swift steamer leaves New York every Saturday for San Juan direct. ‘Send for booklet and information about sail- ings, rates, etc. General Offices: jay, New York Ward Line bersraw (rinaey"Tiarsneen? ile of Pin. ‘tuba, Mexico an: atan, with rail connec- tions to all important intenor ‘Write for booklets. General Offices: Pier 14, East r, New York. DISTRICT PASSENGER OFFICES: New York PuILaDELPMia 290 Broadway 701 Chestnut St. Bostox—192 Washington St. Cmcaco 444Commercial Nat'l Bank Building GENERAL AGENTS ROAD MEN MAKE MONEY MERE START NOW—TODAY AGENTS AWAKE START Wittt THIS NEW INVENTION tS. SALESMAN THE 20th CENTURY WOND! MANAGERS Get started in an honest, clean, reliable, permanent, money-making business. ry che YOUNG OR OLD NEW BUSINESS The shavers Wat ror | Price within lorsed by Doce 2, Pimples, Weink> ‘Natures beauty. ing euch as Kheumat . te ‘ontliled, “Fhe Power AGB TONE MRO Ci fm answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. The Social Zoo. (Conetuded from a preceding page) cavil or carp at or to criticise any of the glorious results of our American civilization.”” “And will this poor creature ever be able to go back to work again, father?" asked the boy, with a pitying glance at the suffering animal. “Oh, yes!’ said the old gentleman, “If he is very, very careful and does not overexert himself, he may recover from the effects of his vacation in time to be of some use to his employers and to himself by Christmastime, or by New Year’s, anyhow.’’ Rebellion. HOW FIRM was our faith in the old fashioned doctor, Who came with his remedies ready to use, And cured us of fever and ague and head- ache With forty-nine bottles of different hues; With capsules and pellets, pills, powders and syrups, In doses colossal, sweet, bitter and sour, And poured the things down us in rapid succession, Explicitly ordering more in an hour, But now, when we’re prompted to calla physician, He comes in an aura of sunshine and hope, Investigates matters and writes a pre- scription, And this takes the place of the old- fashioned dope: Fresh air, early hours, less tobacco and coffee, More sleep, filtered water, plain diet each day, And exercise! Pshaw! handed swindle To have to be cured in this newfangled way! Nellie Parker Jena It’s a high A Seasonable Toke. “Paw'—— “Well, George?”’ “Do they have winter in summer in the arctic regions?’’ “Yes, son.’” “And do they have summer in winter in the tropics?” “Exactly. “Do they have spring in the fall any place?” “Hardly.”” “Or fall in the spring?”* “If you keep this thing up much longer, George, you'll get something worse than a fall in the spring; I'll duck you under the pump!”’ ‘wear It onda. Brimiasc?, . Stand file, acid.and firelike diamonds. Toll beck het ects honed éynthetic Pent giaas, Cored marvelous not an timation and #0 contain nO C-0.D. subject to examination. Write day for our ¢- cotalog Dalase, ieee comicbooks.com