Judge, 1913-03-01 · page 6 of 28
Judge — March 1, 1913 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three satirical pieces typical of early 20th-century American humor: **Top cartoon:** Mocks the White House as needing remodeling to make modern presidents "feel more at home"—likely satirizing either presidential extravagance or discomfort with official duties. **"Everyman":** Contrasts courtship behavior with married life. An engaged couple displays public affection and gallantry; the married couple (or siblings) show indifference and lack of tenderness. The joke targets the gap between romantic idealization and domestic reality. **"Campaign Repartee":** A political speaker outwits a heckler during a campaign event. When challenged to "prove black is white," the speaker calls forward a man named John Black who is white-skinned, creating wordplay. The final heckler's rejoinder—"That's the way you politicians make a living"—satirizes politicians as manipulative tricksters using semantic games rather than honest argument. All three pieces reflect Judge's satirical stance on American social conventions, marriage, and political dishonesty.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Architect's plan of the executive mansion at Washington after it has been remodeled to make our moder presidents feel more at home. Everyman, OBSERVE that couple over there, Her downcast eyes, his gallant air. Just hear the tender things they say And see him help her o’er the way. Who is it? Why, it’s Everyman, And the girl’s his fiancee! Now note the couple just ahead, The difference in their very tread. No tender looks or blushes rife; ‘And help across? Not on your life! Who is it? Why, it’s Everyman, With his sister or his wife! Martha Strayer Leisure unto Repentance. The Busy New Yorker of much wealth and no social position had, during one of those five-day periods of enforced idleness between the business center of London and that of New York, met another New Yorker of no wealth and much so position, and the result was as might have been expected. By the time the home port was reached, 4 the day had been fixed for the happy event and two hearts were beating each other to it as one. A wise friend of the Busy New | Yorker, disturbed by the painful possi- | bilities of such a hurry-up affair, went to him with a few precautionary sig- nals. “All right, all right,’’ he said, after a long talk to no purpose. “I suppose you want to marry in haste and repent at leisure. Is that it?’’ “Leisure?’’ laughed the Busy Man. “Leisure? Good Lord, old chap, I never have any leisure!"" William J. Lampton, Disappointing. A ‘“‘hawk”’ saw a ‘‘chicken,’’ and thought, “I'll capture that ‘squab’ for my Around her he tarried until they got mar- ried; Then he found he'd caught an old “hen.” TAKING A HURDLE. Can He Make It, Campaign Repartee. DURING the recent campaign, at a po- litical meeting in a certain city, the principal speaker was frequently annoyed by a man in the audience. “‘That,’’ said the orator, at one point, “tis true, and I can prove it."” “You could prove that black is white, too, couldn't you?"’ jeered the interrupter. “Certainly,’’ replied the speaker, pull- ing out a banknote. Il wager this five that I can.”” Nonplused, the man remained silent. “Too bad,"’ remarked the speaker caustically, ‘‘that the gentleman hasn't backbone in proportion to his vocal organs!’" Stung by the taunt, the scoffer came forward and put up his money. The speaker looked out over his audi- tors a moment, then pointed. ‘*John Black,’’ he requested, “will you please stand?”’ John Black stood; the crowd roared when they saw that he was white. “‘Now,’’ said the speaker suavely, “I'll bet both of these bills that I can prove that white is black,’’ “Of course you can!’’ shouted a > voice from the rear seats. ‘‘That's the way you politicians make aliving.”” Repentance often is within hailing distance of Pleasure. comicbooks.com