Judge — March 1, 1913 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Judge “‘UNEASY LIES THE HEAD." Wilhelm—Himmel! Those Yankees are changing heads of their goverament again. George—Yes ; and I d-do wish they w-wouldn’t do it so b-blarsted often! It keeps re-m-minding one of that bloomin’ volcano behind us. snauguration, WELL. Woodrow Wilson is to be in- augurated as President of these United States in a few days, and there is a multitude of hap- py Democrats, a great number of whom are receptive and expect- ant. There will not be offices enough to go around, and there be some hard feeling engendered as Smith gets his billet and Jones gets left. The intervals between Democratic Presidents are 80 long that it is to be expected that some of the deserving of the party should be missed in the distribution of places. Time works great changes, and a man can- not be expected to keep on living just on the hope that some day a Democratic President may appoint him to something. Inauguration day will be a great day for barbers the country over, although the barbers will earn their money. So many enthusiastic Democrats here and there take the strange mental tangent that leads them to let their beards and hair grow between Democratic Presidengs that the complexion of some parts of the commonwealth may in a measure be changed by the resultant mowing of hir- sute appendages. In some rural local- ities, in fact, it will seem as though there had been new clearing of forests, the conservation of Democratic whiskers all at once being abandoned. President-elect Wilson, himself a plain man, minus whiskers, it has been said, will so far conform to the conventions at Washington as to wear a stovepipe hat. For some time it was reported that he would not even make this concession to the pride of Democracy in the event. Of course, if the President-elect wears a plug, it will be necessary for Mr. Bryan to put one on also; and new photographs & of Mr. Bryan with such headgear ought to be very interesting, though they may not add to his popularity among the pro- letariat. But there are some other surprises in store at Washington, as those immedi- ately concerned will probably discover before another March 4th rolls around. Brief Decisions. TH henpecked of China ought, per- haps, to take heart over the decree that Chinese women shall no longer wear trousers. And yet what difference will it make with women who have formed a habit? o Women who buy husbands usually are themselves sold. oa Patience ‘is commendable, unless it is closely related in its illustrator to lazi- ness, oO If the day laborer really thinks he knows hard work, let him ask the society leader for that busy person’s day’s pro- gram. oO It is a good thing for some man that the girl who detests domesticity is not making his bed and his bread. THE INAUGURAL NUMBER. SENTINENT 2 a a ee é It May Mean Better Pies. AN APPROPRIATION bill passed by Congress the other day is said to be - intended partly to encourage and ed- ucate young wom- en to become good housewives. The measure carries $12,000,000 for distribu- tion among agricultural and vocational schools in the States which are now receiving Federal aid in such matters. The vocational schools will give instruc- tion in “home economics.”” It is expect- ed young women who wish to become good housekeepers may learn many things of use in the scheme of instruction, It used to be that young women in coun- try districts or in small towns received all needed instruction in household mat- ters from their mothers, to whom the arts that make men glad at home were handed down by the grandmothers. In the city these days young women learn little or nothing of household sci- ence, for reasons which may not be en- tered upon here; and this lack of knowl- edge of essential things frequently is seen among young women in rural com- munities, housework too often being es- teemed these days as beneath the dignity of the girls of a growing generation. If Uncle Sam can succeed in making any considerable number of young women realize the importa..ce of good bread mak- ing and pie baking and kindred duties, marriages that turn out well will increase and domestic happiness be more apparent. comicbooks.com