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Judge, 1913-03-01 · page 24 of 28

Judge — March 1, 1913 — page 24: what you’re looking at

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Judge — March 1, 1913 — page 24: Judge, 1913-03-01

What you’re looking at

This page is primarily **advertising and humor content** rather than political satire. The main features include: **"Would You Be Happy with a Million?"** — A philosophical poem arguing that money cannot buy happiness (love, nature's beauty, peace). This reflects early 20th-century anxieties about materialism. **"Out of the Mouths of Babes"** — A humor section with children's jokes and witty misunderstandings, a popular magazine format of the era. **Other jokes** poke gentle fun at rural life ("Farmer Corntossel") and office-seeking politicians who loudly demand positions they claim not to want. The **advertisements** promote a vibration machine claiming health benefits (pseudoscientific wellness was common then) and Southern Railway travel to North Carolina mountains. This appears to be a **general-interest satirical magazine** page mixing light social commentary with commercial content—typical Judge magazine fare from the early 1900s.

📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ion ara Enjoy Life! Get ny you can ys of it. Live every minute. Vibration is life. It is the very foundation of all existence. It will give you the power to see clearly— think keenly—act quickly. It will fill you full of the real joy o! living. Rests, Strengthens, Renews, Repairs Every vital organ is crammed full of vitality. The cogaing waste is swept away by the coursing blood which this marvelous force sets leaping through every vein and artery with the ri strength of verfect health, Yousleepas restfally as youusedto, You awaken, refreshed mental ly—physically—strong in mind and body and glad to be alive. A 60 Day Special Offer COUPON UNDSTROM, SMITH co. % Desk 2473 By 218 S. Wabash Ave., Chicago yatet or a Gentlemen: Please send me tree adie’ Pat. “0.5 ow eeeden teks cin Ofte Bes, ett ee right Metal boxes l'50 & 100 cach, Would You be Happy with a Million ? WOULD you be happy with a million— A million dollars all in gold? Or do you really think a billion Would bring you happiness untold? And do you think that you could buy Of peace and quiet and content; The peace for which you yearn and sigh— Just pay for it and have it sent? The song of ceaseless, babbling brooks; The color of the setting sun; The joy and sadness in all books— Are these on sale by inch or ton? The silence of the deep, dark wood; The music of the breakers bold— Do you suppose that if you would, You could get these with yellow gold? A mother’s soothing, tender touch; A baby’s nestling bug at night— These could you purchase? For how much? How could you barter and requite? A woman’s love, which is divine— The purest jewel of them all— What wealth can such a thing refine? What else can man so nobly thrall? No riches vast that men impress Can gerve you in the vale of years, Nor bring you aught of happiness, Nor of regret dry up the tears. <7. B. Lyon, OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF BABES. “*What does it mean to cast your bread upon the waters?’’ asked the Sunday- school teacher. “It means that the fishes has to be fed,’’ replied small Sadie. “Don't mind, Willie, don’t mind!’’ said asympathetic little girl to her small brother, who had been chastised by their father. “I d-didn't,” sobbed the little fellow. “That’s w-why I got I-licked.”” Small Edgar happened to see the new moon. ‘*Mamma,’’ he queried, *‘did God make that moon? “Yes, dear,’’ was the reply. “What did He do with the old one?” queried the youthful inquisitor. ‘Did He cut it up into stars?”’ Little Lola had received a doll anda kitten among her Christmas presents. “*Which do you like best—your kitten or your doll?”’ asked her mother. Lola went over and whispered in her mother’s ear, ‘‘I like dollie best, but please don’t tell kitty.""—Chicago Daily News. A Genius.—‘‘So you insist that your boy Josh is a genius?” “Yes,’’ replied Farmer Corntossel. ‘I don’t know exactly what a genius is, but we've got to give some excuse for his not doin’ any regular work.’’— Washington Star. Trying To Explain.—‘‘Father,’’ said the small boy, ‘‘what is a patriot?” “There are many kinds, my son. Very frequently a patriot is a man who knows the office is seeking him, and fears it may not be able to find him unless he keeps shouting.""— Washington Star. OUTHER) RAILWAY Premier Carrier of the South To the GLORIOUS MOUNTAINS of Western North Carolina “The Land ot the Sky.” Charming and Captivating Climate. Splendid and Si Constant and Almo: Sunshine, The Grandest of All-the-Year Resort Section of America. The fresh, crisp ozone is borne on wholesome breezes warmed by the fervor of the sun and con- tributes alike to exhilaration and life renewed. ASHEVILLE, HENDERSONVILLE, WAYNESVILLE, TRYON, _BRE- VARD, HOT SPRINGS, BLACK MOUNTAIN, LAKE TOXAWAY. Through Sleeping Car Service To ASHEVILLE. From NORTH, EAST, SOUTH and WEST, ture ant (nformation, St. Loals Office. 719 Rases City Ofice, Board ot Tease Bldg. i ing. Set oly hi in le out f-soch the price of cot east. [BILLIARDS AT HOME Have your own Burrowes Billiard and Pool Table * few few cepts per day will bay it special billiard mee tite for particulars, T. Burrowes Co.,251 Free St. Portland, Me In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE, It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com