Judge — March 1, 1913 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

To a Fellow-worker. By TUDOR JENKS. PEWRITER, here's an ode to thee! (This is an ‘‘it,’? and not a *‘she."’) No type is comelier than thine, _ No features can more brightly shine! Sach true impressions thou canst make, Mine is the fault when a mistake Doth mar the smoothly flowing verse Or when the Muse doth prove perverse! Though I should idle all the day, No word of chiding dost thou say; Bat silently thou waitest near, With never sigh or glistening tear To show disdain for him who waits Some fancied ‘‘vein’’ ere he creates; Responsive to the artist-hand, Tbou knowest Art defies command. Bat when the Muse hath deigned her aid, How quickly are thy charms displayed! To Letters all the keys are thine, While wealth and fame alike are mine— Ifonly I can touch aright Those magic keys as Shakespeare might! No thought too deep, no dream too fair, No quip too quaint for thee to share! No winged word escapes thy speed, Yet patience, too, is thine, at need; For fast or slow as one can go, Thou writest so that all may know The thoughts that once the freakish pen Oft served to hide from puzzled men. To wisest sage or merest child, Thou yieldest letters undefiled. writer, who would grudge to thee Thy meed of oil—the modest fee That makes thy task a lighter one? Nor, when thy working day is done, Shalt thou want what may shelter thee From wandering motes that harmful be. My Pegasus shall never lack The care a hunter gives his hack! His Slight Miscalculation. QNCE upon a time there was a young man who fancied he understood the fair sex and that he could cipher out the peculiarities of womankind with one hand tied behind his back and read their little foibles like an open book. Acting in ac- cordance with the natural promptings of the kind of a mind that would lead its owner to such conclusions, he hied him- self, tittering all the way, to the abode of acertain spinster of his acquaintance, and, finding her in the kitchen canning blackberries, he paused for an instant on the threshold to emit an unctuous chuckle, and then popped into the room, and with- cut any preliminaries asked her to marry ° bim, Quite naturally the lady was greatly Startled by his radical action, and for the moment mistook him for a freebooter or 4 congressman-at-large or something equally as nefarious. However, she still retained hold of the handle of the sauce- pan dn which she was b’ilin’ the black- berries and had sufficient presence of mind to bring the utensil down on his skull with such force that his head went through the bottom of the vessel as if it had been thin ice, and the scalding juice Poured over him quite a good deal and did rot yield him any great quantity of glee. Every pipe is a jimmy pipe if it is jammed with PRINGE ALBERT the national joy smoke Here’s tobacco that puts a pipe into your mouth and keeps it there, sunrise to sunset! Because, Prince Albert can’t bite your tongue or parch your throat. The dite and the parch are cut out bya patented process. P. A.’s sweet and fragrant. And as bully good rolled into a cigarette as packed in a pipe. Buy P. A. in the toppy red bag, Sc; tidy red tins, 10¢: also in handsome pound and half-pound humidors. R. J. REYNOLDS TOBACCO CO., Winston-Salem, N. C, The maiden quickly discovered his iden- | late ‘‘Turkey!’’ and afterward deftly filed tity, and, still keeping firm hold of the the saucepan off from his neck. handle of the saucepan, she jerked him, “‘And—darn my fool picture!’’ ex- steaming and suffering, out of the house plained the groom later—‘‘I figgered she and off down the road to the residence of would say, ‘Oh, this is so sudden!’ ’’ the combined horse doctor, choir leader, Tom P. Morgan artistic house and sign painter, natural bone setter, popular auctioneer, promi- nent lodge official, layer-on-of-hands and justice of the peace, all of whom promptly removed his pipe from his mouth and made the happy couple one before the | man who understood women could ejacu- In All Sincerity. “I made a bad break just now.’’ “How so?"” “TI told Miss Passee I'd ask her to dance, only there wasn’t room on the floor to swing a cat!’” In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com