Judge, 1913-02-22 · page 7 of 24
Judge — February 22, 1913 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains satirical commentary on gender relations and social pretense circa early 1900s. **"Revised Reveries of a Bachelor"** presents cynical observations about unmarried women—mocking their beauty routines, financial dependence on marriage, and chattiness. The Nancy Byrd Turner verses suggest women's limited options and men's skepticism about romance. **"More Respectable"** jokes about a lawyer euphemistically calling himself a "settlement worker" instead of the pejorative "ambulance chaser" (someone who solicits accident victims). The Shakespeare illustration satirizes women's shrewishness by showing a domestic dispute. **"Dependency of Man"** inverts expectations: Uncle Al complains women depend on him, then announces becoming a recluse for six months—yet admits he'll still bring laundry to Susan for her to wash. The satire exposes male hypocrisy: men claim to support themselves but actually depend entirely on women's unpaid domestic labor, unable to recognize their own dependence. The Sunday school joke offers gentle humor about a child's unintentional double meaning.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Revised Reveries of a Bachelor. NE MIND with but a “‘single’’ thought may easily prevent two hearts from beating as one. Love is blind, but there are generally plenty of oculists hanging around, offering their services free. Some women look as if they had taken their beauty sleep in cat-naps. Laced makes waist. After a maiden passes thirty, all her pin money goes into wedding presents for the other girls. Figures don’t lie, it’s said. But now and then a naturally scrawny woman's fairly perjures itself. Sometimes, thank God! when Love comes in at the door, Poverty flies out of the window. An American Beauty rose by any other name might not sell as steep. Pity is not really akin to Love; Love is but a step farther. If speech were actually silver and silence golden, there are women you couldn't bribe to exchange a dime for adouble-eagle. Nancy Byrd Turner. More Respectable. Victim of street-car accident (glancing at caller's card)—I guess you're an ambulance chaser, aren’t you? Lawyer (blandly)—That’s rather a cruel name, old man. Why not call me a settlement worker? Shakespeare's inspiration for ‘‘ The Taming of the Shrew."* THE GREAT IN HISTORY. Re Le Dependency of Man. AL PEPPERDINE had called upon his niece to unburden his marital woes. One of his chief grievances was that he often had to help around the house—carry water or coal or build fires. “Cynthia, I’m just plumb wore out havin’ them women folks depend on me for everything, and they don’t seem to think I’m doin’ anything extra. I tell you, them women folks of mine are that dependent they couldn’t get a meal’s victuals without me to help. But they’re soon goin’ to find out how dependent they are; then they'll appreciate me.’’ “Why, Uncle Al, are you going away?’’ inquired Cynthia, in surprise. “T am goin’ to become a recluse,’’ announced Pepperdine portentously. ‘‘I’m goin’ miles into the country and live all alone in a cabin for six months, and Susan and them girls will see who's been doing all the work.’” “But, Uncle Al,”’ exclaimed Cynthia, ‘‘who will do your washing and such like?” “Why, I'll bring that to Susan on Saturday night, when I come in to get my bread."” A. Revised Version. ‘Who can tell me the Golden Text?’’ asked the Sunday- school teacher. i. Johnnie’s hand self shall be exalted Grace M. Sissons t upeagerly. ‘‘He that humpeth him- he repeated triumphantly. Washington during the Jersey Campaign. comicbooks.com