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Judge, 1913-02-22 · page 19 of 24

Judge — February 22, 1913 — page 19: what you’re looking at

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Judge — February 22, 1913 — page 19: Judge, 1913-02-22

What you’re looking at

This page is primarily advertisements with some humorous anecdotes rather than political satire. The "Amusing Stories" section contains three jokes featuring named figures: 1. **Bishop Fowler** of the Methodist Episcopal Church tells an Irish dialect joke about accepting one's assigned place (a minister to his parish), comparing it to an Irishman accepting he'll go to hell if he must. 2. **Judge William A. Roane** of Atlanta makes a dry wit quip when two arguing attorneys call each other "liar" and "ass"—he says now that they've identified each other, they can proceed with the case. 3. **James Norton** of North Battleford, Saskatchewan is described as a prairie millionaire whose only flaw is forgetting names; the Saskatchewan premier remarked Norton would be Canada's biggest liar except "all of his lies always come true." These are anecdotes about relatively minor figures (a bishop, judge, and businessman), presented as human-interest humor rather than political commentary. The page primarily serves to fill space between watch, piano, hotel, and gem advertisements.

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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

XPRESSIVE, natural music is in- tuitive and beautiful. It does not come from thinking or reason, but it emanates from feeling. Withthe BHebning <=> LANO “With the tone you can't forget” and the sensitive “pedal touch” you can allow your musical in- tuition to guide you in accent- ing or moderating any music at will. It is beautiful beyond belief. If you are interested, write us and we will notify you, where in your town you can see and hear the Behning. $750, Style 10 $800, Styte 24 $850, Style 28 $900, Style 32 Cash or convenient terms. Liberal allow- ance on old pianus. —_ Buoklet on request. 425 FIFTH AVENUE, N.Y. Entrance 38th S BEENING PIANO Co, The People’ Ss Ale that’s what vans’ Stands For em fe way to sensible living. goed health, solid ¢ vant usetulness. Begin the good work at home- VALLEY GEMS # from FRANCE ‘SEE Ti FORE PAYING! ‘These gemeare chemical white sapphires —LooK ents idand 7 FWHITE sre WHITE VALLEY GEM C0011 Saba Bldg HOTEL ALBERT 11TH STREET AND UNIVERSITY PLACE ‘One Block West of Broadway NEW YORK CITY Close to Wholesale and Retall Dry Goods Districts, Railroad and Steamship Lines MODERN ABSOLUTELY FIREPROOF 300 Rooms (200 with Bath) RATES $1.00 PER DAY UP Excellent Restaurant and Cate Moderate Prices Send for tree illustrated Galde and Map of New York City Amusing Stories About Well-known Persons. Every Man to His Place. The late Bishop Fowler, of the Meth- odist Episcopal Church, was very ready with anecdotes. On one occasion, when reading the appointments at the close of a conference, he thus addressed the preachers: “Now, brethren, every man in a Metho- dist conference is provided with a place. I sometimes hear of churches that dislike to receive the minister sent to them and of ministers who dread to go to some churches. But this is all wrong. It’s like this: An Irishman was very ill. He confided in his friend, Mike. - “Mike, I'm afraid to die. “«*Why is thot?’ says Mike. “«*Well, I'm afraid I'll go to hell.’ “*Oh,’ says e, ‘now, don’t let thot throuble ye, Patrick. Yez ought to be glad yez have a place to go to.’”” Attorneys Identified. While Judge William A. Roane, of At- lanta, was on the bench, the trial of acase had just begun when the opposing attor- neys became involved in heated argu- ment. One called the other a blankety blank liar, and the other replied that he was a contemptible ass. The courtroom was in an uproar over this breach of court eti- quette, and all expected summary action by the court. But the judge calmly said to the attor- neys, ‘‘Now that you have identified each other, we will proceed with the case.’”” Jim's Waterloo. James Norton, of North Battleford, Saskatchewan, is fast developing into the Pierpont Morgan of western Canada. A few years ago Jim's greatest possessions were a huge ambition, a monstrous growth of whiskers and a confidence in the future of the prairie country that was almost un- canny. Now Jim is next thing to a mil- lionaire, and his voice is heard from one end of Saskatchewan to the other. He is famous for the remark made not long ago by the premier, who said, ‘Jim Norton would be the darndest liar in Canada if it were not for the fact that all of his lies always come true.’’ Jim's one drawback is the difficulty he has in remembering names—a fact that frequently puts him to In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It W-year guaranteed gola strata Case. Thin moael, 19 jewels. Adjusted to the second. 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