Judge, 1913-02-15 · page 9 of 24
Judge — February 15, 1913 — page 9: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several brief satirical pieces mocking early-20th-century social pretensions and gender dynamics: **"What He Married"** targets a British publisher of *Pell Mell* magazine, satirizing his inflated social ambitions—he's jokingly positioned to become "Duke of Harlem and the Bronx" by 1960 and holds a meaningless title ("Chief American Gold Stick-in-waiting"). **"Innocent"** ridicules women's political awareness, depicting a wife who doesn't understand basic election terminology, reinforcing the period's stereotype that women lacked intellectual fitness for civic participation. **"Her Diploma"** mocks women's education as frivolous—a woman abroad "finishing" her education supposedly learned only hairstyling tricks. **Other pieces** include jokes about bald druggists, rural wisdom, and a domestic scenario where a wife prioritizes her cook's preferences over her husband's employment. The overall theme: satirizing pretension, female incompetence in serious matters, and class anxieties typical of Judge's conservative humor.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
HE “Ete. Purchased the Pell Mell Clarion in 1893, infusing a characteristic Ameri- can humor into his discussions of serious matters which has made him the envy of LOGIC IS LOGIC. Irate motorist—* Hey, you! get a bustle on. I don't want to be ia this heaven-forsaken region all day."" Farmer Kool—'Wa-al, naow, keep yer head on! Hain't I goin’ MARRIED Punch, Hall Caine, Bernard Pshaw and other purveyors of British wit. Is be- lieved to be in line for high social honors in celebration of King George IV.'s dia- mond jubilee in 1960, when he will prob- ably be made Juke of Harlem and the Bronx, where he has many landed estates. Meanwhile, he is ex-officio Chief Ameri- can Gold Stick-in-waiting-for-whatever- turns-up. Recreation, rent collecting. Address, care of Oscar, the Waldorf; or Pell Mell Circus, London, Eng. Innocent. 6s] TRY to think,’’ said Benham, ‘‘that woman is the equal of man and as well qualified to take part in political life; but it sort of jars that belief to get the reply I did this morning from my wife, when I remarked, on reading the returns, that Bingham ran ahead of his ticket, and she innocently inquired, ‘What was his hurry?’"” Her Diploma. “She says she went abroad to finish her education. I wonder if she learned much.”’ “She told me she had six new ways to fix her hair.’” Would Never Do. MAN of an observant turn of mind was waiting in a drug store one day for a prescription, and he noticed that the only patent medicines on the counter were hair restorers. “Ido that for business reasons,’’ con- fided the druggist. ‘‘People who buy that stuff have been fooled so often that they are naturally skeptical, and I don’t want to do anything that might spoil a sale. My front view is all right, but when I turn around and expose a bald spot on the back of my head, it is likely to set the customer thinking.”’ The Gungy Sage. Hank Stubbs he said to me one day, In his pecooliar, drawlin’ way— An’ I believe it, ev’ry whit— He says to me, wise-like an’ slow, “Folks wouldn’t ketch sech colds, I know, Ef they would jes’ slow up a bit!"” Sine Qua Non. Mabel—Poor Mrs. Goldol! husband, they say. Mayme—Yes. The cook told her that she would not stay on the place with Mr. Goldol, so she fired her husband. Lost her comicbooks.com