Judge, 1913-02-15 · page 8 of 24
Judge — February 15, 1913 — page 8: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This satirical biography mocks **William Waldorf Astor**, a wealthy New York industrialist who emigrated to England around 1890. The article's heavy sarcasm targets his pretentious Anglophilia and social climbing. The satire hinges on several points: 1. **His abandonment of America**: Born in New York (1848), Astor "rectified" this "error in taste" by moving to England, treating his departure like a pioneer enduring hardship. 2. **Performative sophistication**: He taught rural New York legislators about fashion (pot-hats, matching socks and neckties, cravat-tying)—mocking nouveau-riche attempts at refinement. 3. **Failed politics**: His 1884 Congressional campaign received votes only from "the New York Four Hundred and three others"—sarcastically suggesting his social set plus virtually nobody else voted for him. 4. **The Waldorf Hotel**: Built for "homeless and hungry" guests who could eat "on credit, by merely tipping the waiter"—implying it served no real purpose beyond his vanity. The cartoon's domestic scene illustrates upper-class leisure while the biography ridicules Astor's pretension and irrelevance.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
s STOR — William Walked- off, formerly Waldorf. An absentee landlord, formerly of Fifth Ave- nue, but now of Picca- dilly Circus, Great Bri- tain. Through careless oversight on the part of his parents, New York, and not London, became his birthplace in 1848, which error in taste he did his best to rectify in 1890, by emigrating to England, enduring wi out a murmur all the hardships and pri- vations of those early pioneer days on the frontiers of British society, showing a fortitude in the face of hunger, thirst, blizzard and frost worthy of his furbears in the pre-wampum period of American civilization. Prior to his departure, he thoroughly equipped himself for the or- deal by acquiring a thorough familiarity with the language of the country of his rebirth, with the result that upon his arrival there he was able to address the natives in their own tongue, which, WHAT SHE o f taken together with the fact that he bore with him many trinkets of great worth, made him a valuable missionary in the noble work of British uplift. Enjoyed brief political career in the United States before leaving, going to the New York Legislature in 1878 and making a brief but unfinished sprint for Congress in 1884. Brought about many social reforms at Albany, introducing a style of deportment there from which many of his fellow-members from the rural districts were quick to profit, teach- ing them the uses of the pot-hat, the niceties of the demi-tasse, fifty-seven new ways of tying a four-in-hand cravat, and convincing them of the necessity of making their socks match their neckties in color scheme. As candidate for Con- gress, polled full vote of the New York Four Hundred and three others, who voted anonymously and whose names are there- fore unknown to posterity. Invented and constructed the famous Waldorf Inn, built on the south side of Peacock Alley, just off Fifth Avenue, where meals could Whosiers By HORACE DODD GASTIT. MARR BSE HESS Sx <— ED World. be had at all hours of the day and night by the homeless and hungry, on credit, by merely tipping the waiter. Has dipped deeply into literature, writing several novels of life in Rome—Italy, not New York—and also that famous compilation of odds and ends so widely known as AND the HANG ASTRONOMY, ANYWAY. comicbooks.com