Judge, 1913-01-18 · page 5 of 24
Judge — January 18, 1913 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two separate satirical pieces from *Judge* magazine: **Top illustration** ("The Impression of a Seasick Passenger"): A humorous woodcut showing exaggerated wave formations that humorously depict a passenger's distorted perception during seasickness—the waves appear to form grotesque facial features. This is visual comedy about maritime discomfort. **Main story** ("A New Correspondence Course"): Satire of Professor Slimkins, who advertises a mail-order course in whistling. A gullible client (Brown) receives promotional materials after inquiring about this dubious "guaranteed course." The satire targets both mail-order correspondence schools—then proliferating with questionable claims—and the absurdity of attempting to teach whistling by mail. The joke mocks both fraudulent educational schemes and those foolish enough to pursue them.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
—— THE IMPRESSION OF A SEASICK PASSENGER. A New Correspondence HE DAY was cold. Mr. Slimkins leaned back in one chair, and putting his feet wearily upon the cheap desk in front of him, sighed a sigh of real ennui. Gazing around the bare room, his glance paused to invert the black letters on the outside of the frosted glass in the office door. “Professor Slimkins!"’ he read tohimself. ‘Professor of what, if any one should happen to ask me? Why, of the melodious art of whistling, plain or fancy, as taught by a guaranteed course in his correspondence school."? It had sounded very fine in the advertisements, any- way, he reflected. The postman entered and de- posited a great stack of mail on the desk, and Slimkins greeted him graciously, with a comment on the fine brand of weather, to which the genial postman re- sponded with a remark about heavy mails and good busin _conditions and the discomfort of getting settled in a new office, as he departed. Professor Slimkins no longer sighed at the bareness of the new room, for he knew that he had no time to tarry, though his cunning precaution in advertising only places gave him a temporary sense of security. It was not such a long way to Canada, after all. When the wary agent called the next day to investigate the stillness of the in remote THE PYRAMIDS MADE A BIG IMPRESSION ON BROWN. Course. new tenant, he found the room vacant, except for the lone chair and desk and an unsealed letter, which his lurking suspicions seized upon at once. “To Those Whom It May Concern,’’ it said inclusively, ‘Professor Slimkins wishes to express his pleasure and thanks for the great interest manifested in his new guaranteed course in the art of whistling, and for the many first payments of five dol- lars received. Ihave the money. Now you whistle. If you do not do some fancy whistling now, you may as well give up trying.’”” mont Sayder, See Europe First. - Friend (at bookstore)—‘‘Hel- lo, old man! Buying a book?’’ Other one—‘‘Yes; my wife’s going to Europe and she wanted me to get her a volume about the famous historical places in the United States, so that she will be able to describe them to the foreigners she will meet."’ The parting of the ways has come to many a good resolution and its maker. comicbooks.com