Judge — January 18, 1913 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Stories With Smiles. A Curious Boy.—My sister-in-law dropped in on me the other day and left her three-year-old boy in my charge, while she went to Topeka to attend a suffrage meeting. Thereby that cause lost one vote, and I would like to have the following questions, which were put to me seriatim by my nephew, answered as promptly and succinctly as possible: “Where are your feelings? “How does a dog wag its tail? “Why are oysters’ bones on the out- side? ‘‘What becomes of a rooster’s crow when you eat him? ‘Do false teeth ever ache? “What makes my nose so red? “What is Santa Claus doing now?" I will take it as a personal favor if I can get the answer by return mail, as I begin to fear that the kid thinks I don't know much.—Kansas City Star. A Good Sleeper.—The lawyers got a tartar when, in a recent trial in a South- ern city, they summoned to the stand an aged darky who had been an eye witness of a fight that had occurred between a number of persons. “Tell us what you know about this fight,’’ said counsel, when old Mose had been placed upon the stand. “Fight?” asked Mose, apparently greatly surprised. ‘What fight?”” “You know very well what tight is meant,’’ said counsel. ‘*Tell us about it.” I don’t know nothi insisted the witness. See here, Moses!’ exclaimed the lawyer. ‘‘No trifling! The fight day before yesterday. You know all about it. Tell us’’—— “Oh, de fight day befo’ yisterday!’” said Moses. ‘* Well, suh, you see, I’se slept since de day be! sterday, and I never kin rickollect anything after I'se been asleep."” And that was all they could get frum him.—Green Bag. ’ about no fight,”” “*What was it? Particular.—The grouchiest man in town recently had occasion to visit a farm rot far from the city. “Have a nice glass of fresh cider?”’ courteously asked the farmer. “Bout how many apples does it take to make a glass of cider?’’ inquired the stingy one. ‘Oh, mebbe a dozen,’’ Swered. “Would you care if I tuk the apples instead of the cider?”” Astonished but willing, the farmer consented. As he placed the apples in the bottom of his buggy, the city man exclaimed, ashe munched a juicy pippin, ‘‘I like to grind the cider out of ‘em myself, then I know how it’s made.”’—Youngstown Telegram. the farmer an- Ambitious Animal.—The grocer’s boy had entered the kitchen to deliver a bas- ket of eatables, and stood regarding in- tently the new kitten which gamboled coyly about the kitchen floor. t’s going to be an Angora, isn’t it?” inquired the grocer’s boy.—Detroit News. 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