Judge, 1912-12-28 · page 5 of 25
Judge — December 28, 1912 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains humorous poetry and illustrations rather than political cartoons. **"What Man Wouldn't?"** is a poem by W.F. Smith riffing on the Adam and Eve creation story, joking that any man would regret losing a rib to gain a wife—playing on misogynistic humor about marriage as a bad deal for men. The other pieces are lighthearted New Year's content: "A New Year Song" about where girls have gone, "An Equal Chance" mocking a Chicago man wanting to change his embarrassing surname, and brief comedic sketches like "Where Some Careless Person Dropped a Banana Peel" and "It Did" (about rain and resolutions). The humor is genteel and domestic rather than political—typical satirical magazine filler of the era.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
What Man Wouldn't? GES AGO in Eden God took a masculine rib, And gave it aspin, a twirl and twist, Till it seemed enveloped in luminous mist; sg From which stepped a creature with skin, how creamy; Hair, how golden; eyes, how dreamy; But alas! with a tongue, how glib! Adam awoke with a cry: “‘Lord, the rib which Thou gavest me, Thou hast taken again; but why?’’ Then, looking up, he beheld his fate— He had lost a rib, but had gained a mate. | Ages ago in Eden | | How gladly I'd spare a goodly rib If I could awake and see F Standing beside me a rib-made maid, Made out of my rib for me. And yet, should her lithe tongue prove too glib, Great Scott! how I'd long for that missing rib! —W.F. Smyth. A New Year Song. The New Year bells with voices sweet, Are telling tales of their intent— Where are the girls I used to meet? Priscilla’s on the Continent; Fair Grace is mar- ried; Sylvia went To teach at college with her spells; And I—of course, I only meant To say I'll love the New Year belles. Charles C. Joner, In the swear-off for the new year don’t go beyond your moral strength to keep a good resolution. WHERE SOME CARELESS PERSON DROPPED A BANANA PEEL. THE AMERICAN HUSBAND. An Equal Chance. “‘A Chicago man is discouraged be- cause his name is Sausage and he has asked the Legislature to change it.’’ “If he had any gumption he’d go ahead and make his name famous— IT DID. Jones—'* Do you thiak this rain will ever stop?"? Smith—" Sare, It always has."” comicbooks.com