Judge — December 28, 1912 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Money Talks. A SAEE listening to the chai made by the police officer, the judge turned to the prisoner and said, “Did I under- stand you to say you had an alibi?”’ Ay \\ “‘No, your hon- 4) “> or,”’ replied the AN «prisoner. ‘I'ma poor man and my lawyer wanted twenty-five dollars extra to furnish one."’ e th Cynicism. Always pay debts and compliments, and you will succeed. The spice of life is no sort of sea- soning for morality. You've got one guess as to which @ woman would choose, a halo or a diamond tiara. Man's troubles are nine-tenths feminine gender. Did you ever notice that a man’s creditable ancestors are never half as much use to him as his rich ones? Man has his price, woman her fig- ure—and both of them are uncertain. Curiosity is a busy matrimonial agent. —L. A. Browne, — DID SHE MEAN JUST THAT? A woman's birthday seldom has He—'‘ Goodness! I must go. See how late it is! It's after twelve !’’ any connection with her age. She—'* Is that all? I thought it was much Iater."” The Beginning. . Mary—'‘I’ve just found out what was the origin of the harp."’ John (looking up from his news- paper)—**Yes?"" Mary—‘‘It was in the Garden of Eden. Eve ate the apple—and men } have been harping about it ever since.”* Prognostication. i “I know the weather’s very queer, The weather prophet sagely said “It has been now for many a year. And then he wisely scratched his head. “But I'll just bet that it will vary Before the first of February.’’ The Nemesis of the coal man ap- 4 Hylow—"* Is that plaster of paris 2"* Mylow—"' Search me! I ain't read up on mythology."” parently is the weather man. comicbooks