Judge, 1912-12-28 · page 15 of 25
Judge — December 28, 1912 — page 15: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains humorous verse and short jokes satirizing early 20th-century American social life. The main poem, "The Gossip, the Doodle, et al." by Byron Williams, uses a domestic dispute to mock men's philosophical puzzles while celebrating women's practical common sense. A husband poses riddles about invented things ("gossip," "doodle," "strawberry tree"); his wife cuts through the nonsense, declaring these male inventions born of drunken frivolity, and redirects him to chop wood for survival. The surrounding brief jokes target women's changing roles—New Year's resolutions humor their cigarette-smoking and convention-attending, while a couple's dialogue mocks absent husbands. The "Society Chart" graph appears satirical social commentary on changing class or lifestyle trends. Overall, the page reflects early 1900s gender tensions: celebrating women's practicality while gently mocking their new social freedoms and the anxieties these caused.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
The Gossip, the Doodle, et al. By BYRON WILLIAMS. 1™ PUZZLED,”’ said I to my wife t'other day. “Perhaps you can figure it out for me, pray.”" She paused in her peelin’ pertaters and said, “* Adolphus ahead!"’ Adonis, you jist go 1 PROPOUND IT. ‘The gossip, the doodle, the straw- berry tree Are things that exist—it’s as plain as can be; But never a woman admitted the coin, Nor ever a doodle acknowledged the corn! Who ever picked straw from astrawberry tree? Now, what is the answer? Oh, tell it to me!"’ SHE SETS ME RIGHT. “It’s plain as the nose on your face,’’ said my wife, A-pointin’ at me with the blade of her knife. “The gossip, the doodle, the strawberry tree Are merely inventions of men on a spree!"’ She made in 4 ’tater a terri- ble gash “Ob, mamma! THE LATEST SOCIETY CHART—‘‘OVER THE HILLS TO THE POOR HOUSE." And gave me a look that cut deep like a lash, “You quit losin’ sleep over gossips, ”” she said, “And cut me some wood if you hope to break bread!’’ Now, why should a man seek to puzzle his brain When woman is runnin’ the whole blessed train? The gossip, the doodle, the straw- berry tree Kin all go to thunder, as fer as I see! Dottie—‘‘Are you unhappy with your husband?”’ Hattie—‘‘I can’t see him long enough to find out.’” 208 MULT and her husband chased me.’ T asked the cow to give me some milk, Up-to-date Resolutions. “The Williamses certainly have made queer New Year’s resolutions !’’ “*What are they?’’ “Well, she resolved not to smoke any more cigarettes, drink any more highballs, or take any trips to wom- an’s-rights conventions.’’ “*And he’’—— “He resolved to make her allow- ance so small that she would be com- pelled to keep her resolution !’* Tempus Fugit. Let’s try to make high living jibe with the higher life. One minute to twelve, and one minute after twelve. Another year! How time flies! The active ‘‘big noise” of New Year’s Eve may be the “‘quiet still’’ of New Year's. Even the modest man blows his horn on New Year’s Eve. More failures result from shouting a little too little than a little toomuch. But not on New Year's Eve. A big head often denotes a small pocketbook. Clara—'‘Did the bride look natural?’ Belle —‘‘Decidedly; even her flowers were artificial.’’ comicbooks.com