Judge, 1912-11-02 · page 5 of 24
Judge — November 2, 1912 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains humor pieces and anecdotes rather than political cartoons. The content includes: **"Viewpoint"** - A satirical essay about a man meeting progressively wealthy, wise, witty, and pretty women at ages 20, 30, 40, 50, and 60, each rejecting him. It comments on bachelor life and changing dating prospects with age. **"The Original Dictagraph"** - A dialogue mocking a woman who obsessively analyzes her husband's words and expressions, suggesting controlling relationship behavior. **"Exceptional Child"** - A brief joke about a schoolgirl. **"A Union Label"** - A joke about labor union membership. The remaining pieces ("His Tip," "Penny Ante," "Hard To Swallow") are short quips about engagement, gambling, and political bets. The page emphasizes domestic humor and social commentary on marriage, gender dynamics, and contemporary attitudes rather than explicit political satire.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Viewpoint. T 20 he met a girl who was Wealthy, Wise, Witty, Pretty. He decided she’d do— but she turned him down. At 30 he met agirl who was Wealthy, Wise, Witty. He made up his mind that Beauty, being only skin deep, is not essential in a girl— but she turned him down. At 40 he met a girl who was Wealthy, Wise. He decided that Wit in a girl may prove un- desirable, but she turned him down. anyway — At 50 he meta girl who was Wealthy. He concluded that Wis- dom, while needed in men, is superfluous in women—but she turned him down. At 60 he met a girl who was Wealthy, Wise, Witty, Pretty But by this time he also was Wealthy, Wise, Witty Pretty much of a confirmed bachelor. She didn’t get the chance. Donald A. Kahn. Exceptional Child. First schoolteacher—‘‘ Does Edith’s lit- tle girl ever make any bright answers?” Second schoolteacher—‘‘No; she al- ways knows her lessons.” A Union Label. Smith—‘‘No wonder you don’t hear of race suicide among the laboring classes." Jones—'* Why?” Smith—Well, isn’t a baby a union label?"" and THE ORIGINAL DICTAGRAPH. A Regular Meal. “He eagerly swallowed every word she bestowed on him, he fed upon her every look, he lived upon the smiles she gave him.”” “That's what I call an all-consuming passion !"" HE ANSWERED THE AD. A vaudeville quartet adver- tised for a singer who could assist them in giving an imitation of an organ, This boy called inan- swer to the ad- vertisement. Telltale Marks. A man who had been reading the details of a sensational criminal trial in his evening pa- per turned to his wife and said, “Do you take any stock in this finger- print theory?’’ “‘Well,’’ she replied, with a laugh, ‘‘I can generally always detect our Willie that way when he has been steal- ing the jam.” Retaliation. Agnes—''! wish this suffragette would introduce the cus- tom of girls calling on men."* Gladys —‘*Goodness! Why?” Agnes—‘‘I know a few Staylates whom I'd en- joy keeping up until after midnight.’’ His Tip. Billy—* Then your engagement with Maud is off, old fellow, eh?”” Tom—‘‘ Yes. I’m rather afraid Maud will be contrary in matrimo- nial harness. She will movement not care for team work.’’ Billy—‘‘No? How did you reach that conclusion?”” Tom—‘* Well, I asked her, supposing we were married, if she would vote as I did.’” Billy—‘‘ And what did she reply?"’ Tom—‘‘She said, ‘No; I should vote the other way.’ ’’ Penny Ante. “The Hon. Thomas Rott declares that he will stake his reputation on’’— “Hoh! He isn’t gambling heavily, is he?” Hard To Swallow. “‘Shimmerpate is in an awful predica- ment."” “What's the trouble?’’ “He lost an election bet and has to eat his own hat."’ “I've heard of that before."’ “Yes, but Shimmerpate has been wear- ing one of those fuzzy caterpillar lids.’" very comicbooks.com