Judge, 1912-11-02 · page 6 of 24
Judge — November 2, 1912 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This satirical piece mocks the gap between idealistic fantasy and reality. The premise imagines thank-you letters a traveler will *never* actually receive upon returning home—each from a professional or family member who, in reality, behaves opposite to these virtuous letters. The satire targets common frustrations: plumbers who overcharge, doctors who charge for useless prescriptions, bankers who enable overdrafts, wives who overspend, lawyers who take dubious cases, and daughters who marry for money despite parental objection. Each "letter" presents the ideal professional or family member—honest, selfless, ethical—knowing readers recognize the actual behavior is the reverse. The minor cartoon showing "smoke rings in Germany" appears unrelated to the main satire, likely a separate visual joke about German culture or habits. The "Feminine Notion" at bottom satirizes women's logic about child-rearing, suggesting adopting a child specifically to spoil while raising one's own "properly"—mocking perceived female inconsistency or hypocrisy in parenting.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
YI E? 7 \ ~ “ar . ates Sey eS HOME, AFTER A MONTH OF TRAVELING Letters You Will Never Receive. FROM THE PLUMBER. OU WILL notice that the inclosed bill for replumbing your house is $200 less than the original estimate, and includes a few miles of copper pip- ing and other incidentals for which no charge was made. FROM THE BRIDE. Heavens! Another berry spoon! Is there anything, I wonder, in which peo- ple show so little sense or originality as the selection of wedding gifts? I sup- pose we can give it away. Again thank- ing you for the lovely fork, —— FROM YOUR DOCTOR. On reconsidering your case, I would advise you to destroy the prescription I gave you and use a little of your own common sense, which is cheaper and safer than drugs. Five dollars consultation fee is returned herewith. FROM YOUR WIFE. I can't seem to think of one unpleasant thing to write you about—not one. The maid hasn't left, the children are all well, and—best of all--I have saved enough out of my household allow- ance to pay the milliner, the dress- maker and the garage bill, besides mak- ing a small payment on the pew rent, which was worrying you so when you went away. FROM YOUR BANKER. According to our ledger, your check- in account shows an overdraft of $13.65. Please accept our thanks. We wish more of our lady patrons under- stood that the chief function of a na- tional bank is loaning money to its small depositors without security. Trusting that you will continue to draw upon the funds of this institution as if they were your own, and thanking you for past favors, we remain, ——— FROM YOUR DAUGHTER. You are right. In affairs of the heart a daughter's happiness is subordinate to the parental whim. I love Roy and de- sire to marry him, but have accepted Fred, stupid as he is, knowing that you will find him a devoted and congenial son. FROM YOUR LAWYER. Badly as I need the money, I cannot conscientiously accept the case, é SMOKE RINGS IN GERMANY. 71 knowing as I do that legal proceed- ings would be a foolish and need- less expense. The dispute is one that can be easily settled by arbi- tration. Your generous retainer is respectfully returned herewith. —W. F. Rice, A Feminine Notion. Mr&. Post—‘But why adopt a baby when you have three chil- dren of your own under five years old?”’ Mrs. Parker—‘‘My own are be- ing brought up properly. The adopted one is to enjoy."’ comicbooks.com