Judge, 1912-10-12 · page 25 of 28
Judge — October 12, 1912 — page 25: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains a narrative story (left column) about a political banquet, alongside period advertisements. The story satirizes political ambition and misplaced assumptions. The narrator, apparently a candidate for state governor, attends a banquet where speaker Jack Young is expected to endorse him. Young praises Colonel Lawton for leading the state out of "political slough" and mentions Lawton wired him to attend "this mighty love feast" to announce a candidate choice. The satire's joke: Young then reveals he is **himself** the chosen candidate—not the narrator. The narrator, who'd been confidently expecting nomination, experiences the humiliation of public disappointment, forced to maintain composure while his political hopes collapse. The advertisements (Old I.W. Harper Whiskey, Blatz Beer) are period-typical magazine filler, unrelated to the satire's political commentary about ambition, miscalculation, and the performative nature of political endorsements.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
itas big as warts, I felt that his friend- gip was as honest as his open but not qerintelligent face. And I think yet fut he was my friend. The only trou- be was we hadn't got our idees to- gether right for good team work. ‘After th’ banqueters had been well fof, Pete Dillon began setting things in notion, He spoke on various issues of th' moment and th’ need of getting to- ther on some good candidate for Gov’- fr. He finally introduced Jack Young ss speaker of th’ evening, alluding to him as a time-tried and fire-tested war terse of the party. “[ always thought this introduction bai a good deal to do with what fol- lowed. There warn't a word in it calcu- lated to sidetrack the particular idee that had th’ right of way in Jack Young's mind. “True to his reputation as cowboy ontor, Jack Young led off. He sizzled wd fomented in an oratorical way till everybody was wild with joy. I never laughed harder in my life than I did through the first part of that speech. “Then he began getting down to busi- ces. I sank back in my chair, being more or less modest in the presence of serowd, especially when I was lookin’ for boquets. “‘Gentlemen,’ said Jack Young, turn- ing toward me with his broad, friendly smile, ‘it was a great day for this glori- cas State of ours when Colonel George Lawton returned to its borders. We were mired in a political slough of de- spond and daily covering each other with mud. When he came, things took atum for the better. We began to see light ahead. Here was the man, we felt, to find us a candidate upon whom weal could unite.’ “I remember the speaker paused here GRANDFATHER USED STILL THE BEST. Note style 2% bottling This is the Guaranteed Original Package. “A taste that you can recognize anda smoothness that you will remember,”? BERNHEIM DISTILLING CO. Louisville, Ky. Yf — = ij y / Say, “‘Waiter! I want Blatz “Private Stock” —the beer that bears the triangular label on the bottle. ’’ Every: barrel of Blatz—every bottle—every glass—tells its own story of quality and character. Phone your order and have a case in your home. VAL. BLATZ BREWING CO., MILWAUKEE ASK FORIT AT THE CLUB, CAFE OR BUFFET INSIST ON “BLATZ” CORRESPONDENCE INVITED DIRECT to take a drink. I had a peculiar sensa- tion as his last sentence repeated itself in my mind. Somehow it didn’t sound just right. I hadn’t been selecting any candidate for Gov’ner except myself! What was he getting at, anyway? “1 braced up in my chair as Jack Young continued. “**It took some broad, generous man like Colonel Lawton to lead us out of the wilderness. It was up to him to find us a candidate, and when he realized this he opened up his big heart and his big pocketbook and wired me to be sure and be here for this mighty love feast. Oh, gentlemen, it was a proud moment for me when I realized that Colonel Lawton had made his choice, and, by every god that men have bowed before, I wish it had fallen upon some one more worthy of the honor than myself!” “Gentlemen, I have sat quiet-like in a little game of draw, holding fours against a straight flush; but I never had such a time keeping my countenance to- gether as I did the latter part of that banquet. There was I, a-settin’ there waitin’ for the soft impeachment that I was the only fit candidate for Gov’ner in th’ State, and th’ very man I'd expected to do this thing had miscalculated my motives and was reachin’ for the honor himself! It just seemed as though my chin was bound to drag down and rest on my necktie, spite of all my efforts to hold it up. “Amidst th’ general cheering—for the crowd, 0’ course, thought things In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be ¢eppreciated. comicbooks.com