Judge, 1912-10-12 · page 24 of 28
Judge — October 12, 1912 — page 24: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page is primarily **advertisements** with one featured short story, "No Politician," by Robert C. McBirney. The story concerns **Colonel George Lawton**, a Western politician reluctant to run for Governor. Party leaders convince him to host a banquet to launch his candidacy. Lawton invites **Jack Young**, a local "cowboy orator" from Montrose County, to give a nominating speech—but Young fails to arrive, causing embarrassment. The satire targets **machine politics**: how parties draft reluctant candidates as compromise figures, stage-manage their campaigns, and rely on colorful local figures to generate enthusiasm. The humor lies in Lawton's folksy narrative voice and the comedic timing of Young's absence disrupting careful political theater. The accompanying advertisements (Cook's Champagne, Schultz Ginger Ale, etc.) are unrelated to the political content—typical of *Judge* magazine's mixed editorial-advertising format.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
No Politician. By Robert C. McBiravy 6sVVES, I'm always intrusted in polj. Y tics,’’ observed Colonel Georg, Lawton, to a group of chair-warmers at the Brown Hotel; ‘‘but I’m no politi. cian. I found that out some years ago, “Twas when I come back to this h’yere near-heaven we call the West, after rambling about in the gay capitals of Europe with my fam'ly a couple of years. “Th’ boys wanted me to run for Goy'. ner; not so much because they loved me understand, but because there was a bad split in th’ party and I was a good 2 : compromise candidate, havin’ been th Life — bubbles — gaiety Overholt Rye sent so long and friendly with both sides, | ‘Same for 100 years" “First off, I refused. But when Pete Dillon, chairman of the State central dance in your glass of it; the | The process of committee, had dangled the idee about fragrance of the soul of the diigad ts sete: my head a few times, I nat’rally took te 3 to it, and afore I knew it couldn't slee grape fills the bouquet of it; } vi er eam o* nights from wantin’ to be Gov'ner the combination of all these bad. Talk about political bees! I was . ~—s _— | Smooth, mellow, fragrant. tryin’ to swarm a whole hive in my hat! things is in the exquisite Aged in charred oak barrels “Well, then come the banquet. My and bottled in bond. candidacy must be touched off proper, #9 the idee was gently percolated my way flavor of it— A. Qrertelt & Co: that it was up to me to dine the crowd, C meanin’, o° course, all of the party work. ers of prominence in th’ State. ““Lagreed to give the banquet, and, if I do say it myself, the preparations for U J = = th’ event beat anything this h'yere hotel ie" ;, has tackled afore or since. ‘ Are You Getting “When th’ night come draggin’ along, Extra Dry Pay From The everybody was accounted for except AMNPAGIMNG BIG HOUSE Jack Young, th’ cowboy orator of Mon- trose County. This was decidedly dis. : If you haven't heard of appointin’, for we had counted on Jack The best champagne—not just 7 famous plan. telus you're B to sort of orate me into the limelight a3 : Surprise Offer. shown fj the one and only sure-fire candidate for best for the price, but at any wee canis ba tomateher Gover, price. For the difference in Dedeeten re Bree beeing “O" course we could have found some one else to do this important piece of maneuverin’, but we asked Jack for $3 to $10 2 Bey price between Cook's and for- svare arting without acent or 8 dace oe a ro bie mone, eign made champagnes is what famous Progrest Made te- special reason. He'd been nursin’ along e pag! senate Sting they actaally wel ou sight, {tbo an ambition to be Gov'ner himself for they must pay for import duty rt ara ne eee some years, and we thought it woold Write for Outfit FREE mollify him to be the one to start my and transatlantic freight— H complete instroctions and new Agents’ Sarmole Ovtht b : ' S = a, opsT aes candidacy off, just as though be'd Cook's cost goes into quality. Liga ee thought of it himself. “T’d sent Jack a personal wire, tell- Progress Talloring Company Sold Everywhere and Served Everywhere H Dest. 77 cuIcAge eS Oe ae es ee ee ing him about th’ banquet plans and how important it was for him to be on hand. But I didn’t mention that I wanted him to set me off in a speech, feeling some nat’ral embarrassment about putting this on the wire. Besides, I knew Jack Young's oratory was of the impromptoo, sedlitz-powder variety, and easy to get American Wine Co., St. Louis, Mo. 7= in motion. Be os “Well, to shorten up this yarn HE originals of the draw- get to the final agony, Jack Young finally ings in this and_previous arrived. He come in just between th ng, pin or sina for eramiaationmalicharseaprepais—ne money numbers of JUDGE, in soup and th’ fish, as I remember it, his pariramee. rie ei for Frze tartrated postiot sponta! prices colors or in black and white, train having been delayed two hours at = are for sale at R. H. Macy & Salida. “Th’ crowd give hin a proper wer come, and a waiter brought him up to the place of honor beside me. ‘ ““*Now, I want you to do this thing Company, New York, at re- markably attractive figures. These originals range in size from twelve to thirty-six inches square, and | up right, Jack,” I'whispered, confer SCHULTZ GINGER ALE ticularly Prepared make beautdul wedding and birthday gifts when neatly framed. They are of particular value because only one original can be had, There are no duplicates. LESLIE - JUDGE COMPANY. tial like, when things had quieted down. “Jack was still red and confused with his fine reception, and his head was buzzing with some idee or other, so he seemed a little absent-minded. Bat when he leaned over and took my hand in his big, warm paw, with callouses 0” Da for Particular People From your dealer or sent direct CARL H. SCHULTZ 430-444 First Ave. MY. Clty In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com