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Judge, 1912-10-12 · page 23 of 28

Judge — October 12, 1912 — page 23: what you’re looking at

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Judge — October 12, 1912 — page 23: Judge, 1912-10-12

What you’re looking at

This page primarily contains **political satire** through an alphabetical commentary on the 1912 election. The acrostic poem (T through Z) mocks the major candidates and campaign issues: "Teddy" Roosevelt and Taft (Republicans), their tariff policies, and Wilson (the Democratic candidate with a "broken slate"). The verses jest that whichever wins, "Uncle Sam" will survive, and voters are now "free" from constraints—likely a sarcastic reference to ongoing suffrage debates. The humor pieces below ("Half Converted," "Unique," "Probably an Abstainer") employ the common Judge format of two characters (Wiseman and Cynicus) debating social issues. These mock women's voting rights, Congressional tedium, and Prohibition sentiment—all hot-button 1912 topics. The page is largely **advertising** (Remington typewriter, shaving cream, Florida water), typical of Judge's revenue model.

📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

abet. » Some. suffrag. bricks, he Bull 1e game, ive, but ! ho work bs, e while obs, who talk rir hats, ay, train beast of in many e women n wail, is seen Pail. tf, which ire— intry up, hire. hich this orld the } by bad rest? rand for er as to " utive of yy Own a8 ker, too, 3 kicks k to rule hood, and d wages, e? Mooser, sete, , who the 3 nent that rost of it reins. which al nors, and rotectiot ynymoes, medicict | politics and te | Right: "repre a fight”? a cst t to vote T stands for ‘*Teddy’’ and for Taft, for Tariff and for Trust; And what each stands for should not be obscured by campaign dust. U stands for Uncle Sam, who'll thrive, as many men will say, No matter what may happen on the next election day. V stands for Vote, for Voter, and for Victor on that day When none will care for Vanquished —for ‘‘thus runs the world away.” This letter stands for Woodrow, meaning Wilson, candidate Of the party that for many years has had a broken slate. X is a mark illiterate, yet potent is to-day, For 'tis a symbol voters use if they the law obey. Y stands for Yoke, which none should wear if they would free- men be, And happily the voter now from all constraint is free. Z stands for Zebra, Zalophus, for Zander and Zebu; In politics new parties yet may add them to the Zoo. —7. A.W. Half Converted. Wiseman—‘‘I see that a woman elec- tion inspector in California, late at the polling place because she stopped to frizzle her hair, was violently angry be- cause her place had been filled.’” Cynicus—'‘A few more incidents like that will convert me to equal suffrage.’ Wiseman—‘* Why ?"" Cynicus—‘*Well, in all the world’s history there never before has been any- thing that would teach woman that time flies at the toilet.’" Unique. Wiseman—‘‘I see an Ohio man has gone insane from reading the Congres- sional Record."* Cynicus—*So? Well, he has won distinction in a field that never before bas held out hope to any ambition."" Probably an Abstainer. Wiseman—''I see the inventor of pink lemonade—an old circus nan—is dead. Cynicus—**Well, he probably ab- eee from his own beverage to the ast.” The Natural Explanation. Prosecuting attorney (testily)—‘*You say the candidate wasn’t running for alderman or councilman or for any city office; then what was he running for?” _. Witness (stupidly )—-"* dunno—’nless itmight be he seen a cop comin’ round the corner.’? All Wind. “What kind of aman is Squire Sim- T'll tell ye. You've seen em snowstorms along airly in the Tinter, when there’s a good deal of wind, but not much sleighing? That’s sort he ig.’” Every lover of a ve food cocktail should insist ets Bitters be used in making it; inaures k e Ma’ very best. C. W. Abbott & Co., HANA | INT EE STE Ne An Improvement That Pays for the Machine ‘The above ts an eccursie statement of the service rendered by the ‘Column Selector of the Model 10 Remington Typewriter On the Model 10 Remington the starting point of every line of the letter is reached by ‘one touch on « Column Selector Key. The time saved by eliminating hand adjustments of the carriage averages 40 seconds per letter end envelope. This average hes been determined by numerous comparative tests. Forty seconds per letter! Mukipty that by the number of letters your operator writes—every dey and every week. Figure this time on the basis of the wages you pey. your operator. n you will see how quickly this improvement peys for the machine. Remington Typewriter Company’ (Incorporated) New York and Everywhere You had to help soften the beard by rubbing inthelather. Neturally, your rubbing brought . the blood to the surface, opened the pores and . With th h made the skin very sensitive. That helped the S ith those who know, Muney free caustic to get in its work and made the skin & Lanman’s Florida Water fin doubly sensitive. sieter these conditions Cid a hearty welcome. Its use is al- razor will feel as though it were pull- treme person- ing the hair out instead of cutting it. a etefarbent os the bath, a Mennen’s Shaving Cream 5 tub down, or after shaving, it has dispenses, with the “rubbing in,” as jt thor- : wey been a favorite for over a hun oughly softens the beard while the lather is 5 ~ & worked up onthe face. Reduces shaving to SB gpyents.: {tae operations — lathering and shocing. 34 the 5 Leading druggists sell it time saved. f, Accept no Substitute! ASit contains no free, caustic, d : Smak esa as dutchiolesitien oe sy f of six cents In stames te wersvnhers 450 LANMAN & KEMP hepa) i bal 135 Water Street, New York GERHARD MERNEN CO.,Rewart, WJ. Qyd In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com