Judge — September 28, 1912 — page 9: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ON THE RIALTO. Modern player—'* Well, Antonio, do you look for a good season ?"” , , . “Ancient mummer—" Season, say you, youngster? By me halidome, and eke me rusty armor, I''d be pleased to get a good one-night stand I he smiled happily; ‘‘you don’t know how much. And I must admit that I didn’t know that you were married. I will have to come and see your little boy Reginald—I beg your pardon, James- worthy Montmerency.’” The lady blushed and stirred uneasily. “I'm not married,”’ she answered, ‘‘and I have no little boy. . Jamesworthy Montmerency is my dearest little pet pug doggie, and just this morning | made him a bow of ribbon for his cute little neck, and itis just the color of the tie you wore yesterday. I think you have such splendid Of Course He Liked ‘Em. Little Hoosier (to little Boston boy who is visiting him)—‘‘D’yuh like movin’-picher shows?"” Little Boston boy—‘‘If you mean pho- tographic illustrations of animated na- ture displayed on a screen, why, I have witnessed them with some satisfaction.”’ Differentiation. True poets are born, say the wise ones, who know; But rhymesters, more common and ac- tive, just grow. By Questionable Means. “What is the charge against him?" “I'm not certain as to the specific charge, but the trouble is that he ex- ceeded the speed limit in getting rich.” Theories. Theories should not be judged by the ease of acquiring them. Some good theories come hard. Some bad theories come easy. All theories are somewhat obtrusive and quite apt to meet one more than half way, and they usually look good at first sight. To judge a theory prop- ve. = taste! Charles Campbell Jones His Impression. “So Farmer Carrot — you've been t’ th’ city, our fust time thar? rmer Beetroot— armer Carrot— “Wa-all, how was it? What impressed ye know how it sounds in th’ barn when a_thrashin® machine's goin’ licketty split?”” Farmer Carrot— Farmer Beetroot— “Wa-all, th’ hull city’s jes’ like that.’ Sad, but True. Some women have such unfortunate dispositions that they don’t dare put ce ld cream on their faces, for fear it will curdle. IT BROKE THE PEACE. Grace— Our new Peace Movement Club has broken up." Lulu—** Gracious! Grace—" Somebody put one of those horrid dictagraphs in the committee-room."" Why?" erly, one must wait until one gets it and observe how it acts. If it makes itself at home and seems to be congenial with the Lares and Penates, if it fits in without upsetting things too much or inter- fering with accustomed comforts, if it allows it- self to be assimilated and domesticated, then it may be put down as a good theory. Butif it is rest- less, if it needs constant attention and frequent in- spection, if it gets you and itself into trouble and you are worrying about it all the time, ifafterithas been with you for a con- siderable period you still feel uncertain of it and hesitant about showing it off to your friends, then it is a poor theory, and that is worse than none at all. Dismiss it and look around for something else. 2.0. J. comicbooks.com