Judge, 1912-09-28 · page 10 of 24
Judge — September 28, 1912 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Judge* (a 19th/early 20th-century American humor magazine) contains multiple unrelated short jokes and cartoons reflecting contemporary social observations. **Key humor includes:** - **"Comforting"**: A barber's casual attitude toward workplace fines, having won money gambling—satire of working-class priorities - **"Childish Ignorance"**: A rural visitor to New York sees a "horse car" (streetcar), but his son doesn't know what one is—mocking changing urban technology and generational gaps - **"Ruinous"**: A woman's casual taxi ride conversation costs money—satirizing women's spending habits and the new expense of motorized transport - **"Too Much Warming Up"**: A baseball player's fielding decline blamed on chasing "high balls"—double entendre about excessive drinking - **"The Sleeping Lion"**: Children find a caged lion disappointing and tame The content reflects *Judge*'s typical format: satirizing modern conveniences, urban life, gender relations, and social changes of the era through brief, punchy jokes rather than continuous narratives.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
COMFORTING. Barber (confidentially) —'* The boss fines me a quarter when I cut a customer's face. Bat I don’t care to-day—I just won two dollars !"" Childish Ignorance. I CAME to New York and saw a horse car, I went back to Keokuk and dreamed a dream. I dreamt I called aloud, ‘‘I came to New York and saw a horse car! I came to New York and saw a horse car! I came to New York and saw a horse car!"’ As I dreamed, in Keokuk, the voice of my infant son recalled me to the twen- tieth century, saying, “*Papa, what is a horse car?’’ Vocabularies. A cop's range of language is spacious, A ball player’s blue and pugnacious; A conductor can cuss, A stage driver is wuss, But as for a sailor—good gracious! Ruinous. That talk is cheap she used to think, But now she sees it puts a kink In one’s bankroll; For’she, poor soul! Once met a friend and stopped to gab While riding in a taxicab. Why? Daughter—‘‘Mother, why do people think business will be better after the election?” Mother—‘‘ Because then men will have more time to give to it.’’ A Child’s Question. Boy—‘‘Pa, what is the difference be- tween a humorist and a funny man?” Father—‘‘A humorist, son, plays with ideas and a funny man with words.’’ THE SLEEPING LION. w, come on, Mag, he’s no fun Ain't it fierce he 's so tame !'” Gee! Still, It Would Be Noisy. Child—‘‘What’s a stag party, mamma?’ Merry widow—"A party where there are only gentlemen, dear.”’ Child—*‘And what do you call a party where there’s only ladies?’’ Merry widow—‘‘I should call it a stagnation party.’’ Too Much Warming Up. Ball fan—'*How do you account for the slump in McFogarty’s fielding aver- age?" Sport writer—‘‘He goes after too many high balls."” A FITTING TERM. Culinary lady—"* Yes, ma'am, I call myself a fireless cooke Mistress—* Why a fireless cooker ?"* Culinary lady—"' 1"Nl dare you or your bus- band to fire me." A Satisfactory Reply. “Why are the woods so full of trees?" Cried little Wilby Goode. And Wilby’s poppa said, ‘* Because The trees are full of wood.”’ Of Course Not. “‘Anything remarkable about the the- atrical performance at State’s prison?” “Yes; none of their audience had their coats checked.” Seasonable. Comes spicy autumn, freshly fair, And fickle as a hen: We doff our summer underwear, Then put it on again. comicbooks.com