Judge, 1912-09-07 · page 22 of 24
Judge — September 7, 1912 — page 22: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page is primarily **advertising**, not political satire. The dominant content is a Budweiser beer advertisement featuring an eagle, plus ads for Elks magazine, a "Liquid Pistol" (dog repellent), and other products. The editorial content is a serialized romantic story ("A Magazine Romance of Today") that satirizes **magazine advertising itself**. The narrative mocks how advertisements interrupt reading matter: characters include "The Cold Cream Girl," "The Custom Tailored Young Man," and "The Automatic Pistol Man"—essentially personified ads competing for attention within magazine pages. The humor derives from treating advertisements as physical obstacles the romance characters must navigate and avoid. This reflects early 20th-century anxieties about **ad saturation in magazines**. The joke—that ads have become so intrusive they literally interrupt romantic narratives—suggests Judge's readers found excessive advertising increasingly annoying. The final "Revised Version" poem about advertising's effectiveness serves as ironic commentary on the very ads filling the magazine.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Budweiser The only Bottled Beer in constant demand on Land and Sea, on all Buffet and Dining Cars, at Hotels, Clubs, Cafes and Homes. Bottled only at the Home Plant in St. Louis Anheuser-Busch Brewery St. Louis, Mo. Are You An Elk? fcntate jog filled with all the latest news and gossip of Elkdom, $1.50 per year National Elk’s Horn NORMAN M. VAUGHAN, Editor Mercantile Building ST. LOUIS, MO. Every new subscriber receives a bank free. Im answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be don School sterertecaies lo 1488 SCHOFIELD RULLDISG, Wizard Repeating LIQUID PISTOL Will stop the most vicious dog (or Leads from any liequed a iadng: All ater er male Pistol, Sb0. Momey-or 294 Sheffield Ave. Dept EB'liye. NY. A Magazine Romance of Today, (Concluded from a preceding page.) “I'm human. But I turned my head the other way when they placed that Snug- Fit creature on my page—give me credit for that.’" The Cold Cream Girl frowned. “I don’t see why they put her next to pure reading matter, anyhow,’’ she said. The Custom Tailored Young Man ex- cused himself and fumbled around in search of something a half dozen pages back. He was just coming back witha box of Huyler’s Chocolates when he heard a scream from the Cold Cream Girl. He rushed back and found her all aflutter with fright. “What is it?’’ he demanded, “Oh!"’ she gasped. ‘*You have saved my life! While you were gone, my page turned under and up bobbed that horrible Automatic Pistol Man, with his weapon pointed right in my face!" The Custom Tailored Young Man grew severe. “The villain!"’ he hissed. ‘*He's been hiding under the Ostermoor Mattress for months. They ought to put him over next to those articles on Trusts, where he belongs."’ A liberal supply of chocolates soothed the girl’s nerves and the Custom Tailored Young Man began pressing his suit— although, goodness knows, there didn't seem to be any necessity for that. ‘Are you sure you love me for myself and not for my Perfect Complexion?” she asked, after he had kissed her through two layers of cream. ‘Beauty is only skin deep, you know."” “That's deep enough for me,” he re- plied gallantly. ‘I’m no X-ray ma- chine.”” He tore himself from her arms and disappeared among the rear pages. When he returned, he carried something proudly in his hand. It was a Dollar-Down-and-a-Dollar-a- Week Diamond Ring. As he tenderly placed it on her finger there was a clicking sound behind them, and both knew that the Camera Girl bad caught them: But they didn’t care a snap. And while the Piano Player was grinding out Lohengrin in one reel, they caught a big red Automobile in the colored insert and rolled away to the summer resort of Page 11. Revised Version. Early to bed And early to rise Will make you rich If you advertise. eppreciated. comicbooks.com