Judge, 1912-09-07 · page 23 of 24
Judge — September 7, 1912 — page 23: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page is primarily a **humor/joke column** with various brief satirical anecdotes mocking contemporary social foibles, plus advertising. The title piece plays on a mishearing: "J. Smith beat his wife" at poker becomes rumor-mill fodder suggesting spousal abuse with a poker—the joke being how gossip distorts truth through repeated telling. Other short jokes target: **cigar snobbery**, **political self-interest** (a senator passing useless laws to justify his seat), **pharmacy upselling**, **labor reform absurdity**, and **aging actors**. One anecdote mocks a photographer blaming his old camera for poor portraits—really excusing his lost talent. The **advertising section** includes whiskey and cocktail promotions (Overholt Rye, Club Cocktails, Sunny Brook), plus Judge's self-promotion about its print catalog and art reproductions. The page reflects **early 20th-century urban American humor**: cynical takes on business practices, marital relations, and vanity—typical Judge magazine fare before Prohibition's impact.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Passing the Mustard Rumor. J. Smith beat his wife, A-playing at poker. Soon ‘‘rumor was rife’’— “J. Smith beat his wife! They lead a dog's life!” Ah, fate's a grim joker. “J. Smith beat his wife,” They said, ‘‘with a poker!’’ —Chicago Daily News. Easiest To Get.—'‘What brand of cigars do you like best, Sponger?’’ “The brand you have in your pocket.”” —Boston Transcript. Appropriate.—‘‘We call that girl ‘Joarez.’ been captured six times al- ready this season,'’'—Pittsburgh Post. His Idea.—‘*Don’t you think we have laws enough already, senator?” “Oh, yes; but if I don’t let 'em know what I'm here for, I'll never get here again.""—Atlanta Constitution. In the Drug Store.—‘‘Have you any five-cent cigars?’’ asked the man. “No,” replied the druggist; ‘but we have something just as good. Here's a ten-eent cigar.’’— Yonkers Statesman, It Would Be Appreciated.—'‘ What re- form are you interested in now?” “I'm advocating that people be paid doable for the work they do when they don’t feel like working.""— Chicago Record-Herald. Not an Actor.—'‘Is he much of an actor?” “Not much. They say he’s pretty fair in Shakespeare, but he can’t do a side- walk patter or clog dance worth a cent."" —Detroit Free Press. He Was No Cannibal.—‘*‘Remember, my son, that beauty is only skin deep,"” warned the sage. “That's deep enough for me,”’ replied the young man. ‘‘I’m no cannibal."*— Cincinnati Enquirer. Lady—1_ don’t las I did the last Cause For Regre! like this picture so one you took of me. Photographer—‘Ah, madam, 1 have pot the artistic taste that I had when I ¥as young; and, besides, my camera is getting old.""—New York Weekly. Always Busy. As autumn days approach we'll note Anew role for an old-time star. man who used to rock the boat Will joy-ride in a motor car. —Washington Star. Tee man who used to rock the boat, If busy now, a shade must be. He surely can't still be afloat, Unless upon some mystic sea. It costs money to advertise, but it sts tore to try to do business without Advertising. wood, bottled in bond. (ual flavor, exquis- |i ite bouquet. Thearisto- crat of whiskies. A. Overholt & Co, Pitteburgh, Pa. Advertising of Advertising Everybody is talking about it, but Judge and Leslie's Weekly are doing it. (See page 2) There’s just the difference be- tween a raw, poorly made Cock- tail and a Club Cocktail that there is between a raw, new Whiskey and a soft old one. The best of ingredients—the most accurate blending cannot give the softness and mel- lowness that age imparts. Club Cocktails are aged in wood before bottlin, nd no freshly made Cocktail can be as good. Manhatten, Martint and other standard blends, bottled, ready te serve through cracked ice. Refuse Substitutes AT ALL DEALERS GF. HEUBLEIN & BRO., Sele Prope. Hartford New York London ' fo the United | States and, Europe Corrmant Lenst-svese €0., 1918 “A LIVE WIRE” By ROLF ARMSTRONG ‘OU will find just the pictures you want to decorate your den, in the Judge Art Print Catalogue. There are just dozens of charming creations by famous artists—a great variety of subjects at prices ranging from 25¢ to $2.50. Send 10c for Judge Art Print Cata- logue containing reproductions of the Judge Art Print Series. JUDGE 225 FIFTH AVENUE, NEW YORK ROMEIKE’: friends, or any subject to date.” Every news: Press Cutting Bure: willsenu you ail newspaper clip which ray appear about you, which you may want to be “up per and periodical of importance ia searched. Terms, KomerKe, 106-110 Seventh 00 for 100 notices. HENRY Avenue, New York. wanted. Cash or Song Poems 1K oh NEEDHAM MUSIC HOUSE, 111-5, St. Louis, Mo. AA ey As A Pleasant Beverage and A Pure. Wholesome Tonic It Has No Equal. ip answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com