Judge, 1912-07-20 · page 7 of 26
Judge — July 20, 1912 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several short humorous pieces typical of Judge's satirical format: **"The Little Church at the Seaside"** depicts a fashionable seaside congregation more interested in displaying wealth and beauty than genuine piety—a common critique of hypocritical religiosity among the wealthy. **"Two Able Stanzas on the Fly"** presents a children's poem about a spy and a fly, meant as innocent classroom humor. **"The Unit Rule"** is a political satire about Democratic National Convention voting procedures where state delegations vote as unified blocs. It jokes that a husband asking his wife to vote with him on a fishing trip illustrates how the unit rule works—except she votes "no," humorously suggesting wives' actual power over domestic decisions. **"They'll Not Believe It"** mocks Kentucky residents' drinking habits, suggesting they'd be shocked to learn the human body contains 75% water (implying Kentuckians consume more alcohol than water). **"Hungry for It"** satirizes a publicity-seeking citizen obsessed with getting his name mentioned anywhere, even in hymn titles.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
‘The summer throng that gathers there The hymns to sing, the lessons read, With fashion's show and beauty's stare But little of the day can heed Two Able Stanzas on the Fly. KANSAS school teacher asked the pupils to write a short poem of two verses re- cently and to read it in class. One of the boys got off the following: a Spy A Fly! “Gee! He Sees Me!" Hungry for It. “Isn't Windleigh the most pablicity - hungry citizen you ever met?” “Just about. Why, do you know, his favorite hymn is ‘I’m Glad There’s a Mention in the Skies,’ "" THE LITTLE CHURCH AT THE SEASIDE. Respectfully submi While Query. itted to the authorities: And piety, in bumble guise, Sits quite alone with wond’ring face those about her scrutinize A figure that seems out of place. If an effeminate man is a mollycoddle, is a masculine woman a jonnicoddle? —- “« Fly, and the world flies with Walk, and you walk alone."’ you; The Unit Rule. Mrs. Henpeck—* What is this unit rule they talk so much about in the political conventions, Hi- ram?"? Henpeck—‘Why, my dear, it’s where delegates from one State vote to- gether, as a unit, you know. I can illustrate it by a request. I'd like to go fishing to-morrow. If you vote with me on the proposition’’—— Mrs. Henpeck—"‘But you can’t go fishing, Hi- ram!"" They'll Not Believe It. A scientist informs us that man’s make-up con- tains at least seventy-five per cent. of water. This will come with a terrible sense of shock to some of our good friends down in Kentucky. comicbooks.com