Judge, 1912-07-20 · page 8 of 26
Judge — July 20, 1912 — page 8: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Judge* magazine contains several brief satirical pieces and a cartoon. The main cartoon shows a man in a rural landscape saying he likes a spot where "a man has room to think"—a joke about needing space away from civilization's noise. The written pieces mock domestic life and social pretense: "The Bathing Dress" jokes about a man marrying an economical woman, only to discover her frugality applies only to everyday clothes, not swimwear. "Should Have Been Prepaid" satirizes someone sending a costly telegram *collect* (paid by recipient). Other snippets target wealthy people's affectations (Chicago University banning toothpicks as "vulgar"), class anxieties (the "secondhand" typewriter joke implying a widow's desperation), and marital humor. The overall tone is light mockery of middle-class vanities, consumer culture, and courtship conventions typical of early 20th-century *Judge* content.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
The Bathing Dress. 46] BOUGHT a dress to-day,’’ she said, “A most becoming blue, All trimmed with rows and rows of braid, And little buttons, too. ’Twas ready made, but, oh! it fits My figure something fine! And think! I only paid for it A dollar twenty-nine!"’ I thought, ‘‘This maiden surely is The very wife for me; She understands the proper way To use economy.’’ I begged her, then, without delay My lonely life to bless; But when the knot was tied, I found She meant a bathing dress. Minna Irving. Always Some Remedy. Dr. Woods Hutchinson says that pov- erty is a disease. Well, there is the gold cure! EXPANSIVE. Perkins (from the gent's furnishing department) —'* Hab ! I like a spot like this. Should Have Been Prepaid. Old Father Epicuremus the Philoso- pher has just sent us a lettergram stat- ing that ‘‘some men’s idea of earning a living is just answering a dinner bell.”’ We should have welcomed the communi- cation had the old gentleman not sent his message collect. Domestic Problem. He asked, ‘‘How much did Romeo? I always do forget!" She answered, ‘‘That depends, you know, On what fair Juliet.” Why? Son—''Papa, why do they call them rubberneck wagons?’’ Father—‘'Because everybody stares at the people in them, my boy.’” Chicago University has just banished toothpicks, condemning them as vulgar. Westward doth refinement take its way. By heavens! a man has room to think."’ Tedious Tasks. A couple of wayfarers stood for an hour or more in front of a market, watching employes clean fish. “Ain't that the limit?’’ exclaimed one. ‘Can you think of anything worse than a job like that?’’ “Sure I can!’’ the other replied. “That ain't half as bad as scaling the Alps.”” Not New. “*You should see my new typewriter, said Mr. Smart to his friend, as they went down in the elevator together; “*but it’s secondhand.’’ “*Secondhand?”’ “Um-hm. A widow." A Paradox. Said he, ‘‘I give my love to you. I pray you, do not spurn it!"’ Said she, ‘‘To prove that I am true, I shall forthwith return it."’ comicbooks.com