Judge — July 13, 1912 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Die Wurstspritzee — — — — 1. The sausage syringe. Maximum of Modesty. sfrau-—"Nehmen Sie doch noch Erbsen, Herr Junger Mann (beim Chef 2u Tisch geladen)— “Eine—wenn ich bitten darf.” Lady of the House—‘' Please take some more peas, Mr. Krause !”’ ng Man (invited to dinner by his r)—' One, if I may trouble you.’” —Fliegende Blaetter. Earnest Voting. “Polkwitz ist nicht in den Klub aufgenommen worden?” “Nee, za unbeliebt! Dreizehn schwarze Kugeln hat er bekommen, und elf Mitglieler waren blosz da.” “Has Polkwitz not been admitted to the Q. Club ? “*No, he was too unpopular! He got thirteen black balls and there were only eleven members present."’— Meggendor- fer Blaetter. A Flattering Reason. Maler (der sorben zwei Bikier ve “Um Vergebung, wie sind Sie gerad kekormmen ?” Herr—" Durcha Adreszbuch. nen sofurchtbar hoch. einem Parterrelogie !* Artist (who has just sold two paint- ings)—‘‘I beg your pardon, but how did you happen to come to me?”’ Stout Purchaser—‘Through a direc- tory. All painters live ‘way up in attics. You were the only one who lived conveniently on the ground floor.’’— Meggendorfer. Blaetter. ft hat)— auf mich All die Maler woh- Sie waren der Einzige in — — Sol—Jetzt werden wir die Wurst gleich 2. Now we shall have the sausages soon! A Conscientious Answer. Plain but Wealthy Spinster (to im- pecunious suitor, as they walk through a portion of her great estate)—-‘‘Do you truly love me, Clarence?” Clarence—'I worship the very ground you walk on !’’—Punch (London). Good Night’s Sleep NO MEDICINE SO BENEFICIAL TO BRAIN AND NERVES. Lying awake nights makes it hard to keep awake and do things in day time. To take ‘‘tonics and stimulants’’ under such circumstances is like setting the house on fire to see if you can put it out. The right kind of food promotes re- freshing sleep at night and a wide awake individual during the day. A lady changed from her old way of eating, to Grape-Nuts, and says: “‘For about three years I had been a great sufferer from indigestion. After trying several kinds of medicine, the doctor would ask me to drop off potatoes, then meat, and so on, but in a few days that craving, gnawing feeling would start up, and I would vomit everything I ate and drank. “When I started on Grape-Nuts, vomiting stopped, and the bloated feel- ing which was so distressing disappeared entirely. “*My mother was very much bothered with diarrhea before commencing the Grape-Nuts, because her stomach was so weak she could not digest her food. Since using Grape-Nuts food she is well, and says she don’t think she could do without it. “It is a great brain restorer and nerve builder, for I can sleep as sound and un- disturbed after a supper of Grape-Nuts as in the old days when I could not re- alize what they meant by a ‘bad stom- ach.’ There is no medicine so beneficial to nerves and brain as a good night's sleep, such as you can enjoy after eat- ing Grape-Nuts.’’ Name given by Postum Co., Battle Creek, Mich. Look in packages for the famous lit- tle book, ‘‘The Road to Wellville.’” Ever read the above letter? A new one appears from time to time. They are genuine, true, and full of human intere, fertig haben!" — -— — — 8. Finished!—Fliegende Blactter. The Reason. “You write as a critic about art and music, doctor. Why don’t you write about literature?’’ “Oh, I understand all about that!’’— Jugend (Munich). “Ah! but I have never in my life seen such a beautiful curve on the foot of any lady !""—The Bystander (London). More Transport Troubles.—-Conductor —"You'll have to pay for that child, mum.’ Fare—‘‘Indeed, I won't, young man! I never ‘ave yet, and I ain’t a-goin’ to begin now!""—Punch (London) An Artist’s Jest.—‘‘You have seen that I have painted my wife.” “Yes. But it is still better with mine. She paints herself.'’"—Le Rire (Paris). Wanted Less Speed.—Countryman (to motorist who has given him a lift)— “You bain’t gointer pass the old cow, be you, mister?”’ Motorist—‘‘Yes. Why?’’ Countryman—‘'Oi be droivin’ inter Taunton."’— Punch (London). His Girl! she —Tit-Bits (London). In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com