Judge, 1912-07-13 · page 18 of 24
Judge — July 13, 1912 — page 18: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
The top cartoon depicts an disheveled man (presumably a political figure, though identity is unclear from the image alone) sprawled on the ground with the caption "He won't be happy till he gets it!" This is a satirical commentary on presidential ambition—likely mocking a specific politician's relentless pursuit of the presidency. The Pears Soap branding suggests this may be a parody or commentary on vanity and ambition intertwined with consumerism. The page is primarily **advertising-heavy**, featuring Judge Art Prints, tailoring services, and Miller High Life beer, interspersed with a humorous article titled "Nature Faking" that uses anthropomorphized sea creatures (Lobsters, Clams, Sea Serpents) as thinly-veiled social satire about wealthy vacationers and their pretentious summer behaviors at beach destinations like Bar Harbor and Newport. The actual political point of the presidential cartoon remains unclear without additional historical context about the specific election or candidate referenced.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
He lon le happy, Who will be the next President Wil he goth Al Don’t Have Bare Walls | They are uninviting. Give them color. Hang_ pic- tures, Why not Judge Art Prints? From 25c to $2.50 in price. Send 10c for catalogue and make your selection. JUDGE, 225 Fifth Ave., New York (50 5 A yA Week— EASY, So) Hereie the eas ‘< will ree ao seg ang aires Outhe ei 2 erellest bi ‘of Samples tea, showing aver 109 eerrct and latent sna tn en's lade Measure offer of a free suit to you. We you ever cep ta and write us today ELK TAILORING 1G,CO. 733 Jackson BI ° IT h “ind 6g out F REE ABSOLUTELY PURE HIGH LIFE The Champagne BEER of Bottled? M ADE from choicest malt and hops and purest water under conditions that are cleanly and absolutely perfect—its purity is emphatically guaranteed, ORDER A CA 1E FOR YOUR HOME TO-DAY Brewed by MILLER, Milwaukee In answering advertisements please mention JUDCr, Nature Faking. Lobsters. THs is the season of the Lobster. He is a milk-white skinned fish that hies to the seashore on a two weeks’ vacation. The day of arrival finds him approaching the water in a hired bathing suit—but he does not enter it. The water, we mean. Ah, no! A “sun bath” first, and the weekly wash afterward. Neptune weeps, know- ing these promises deferred. The Lob- ster seeks the shelter of a sand dune, and, rolling back his battle of Gettys- burg sleeves, stretches himself in the arms of the sun (and the spiked sea grass) to get a “‘tan.’’ Generally he falls asleep and gets it with a ven- geance. Then he spends the remaining thirteen days of that vacation clothed a la Adam, under a canopy made of barrel staves and mosquito netting, applying vinegar and great gobs of cold cream. If he has no friends to bring him his meals, he compromises and goes to a hospital. The summer without its Lob- ster would be a disappointment. The genus is masculine and feminine, there being Lobsters and Lobsterettes or Broilers. For Broilers, see Sea Ser- pents. Clams. The Sea Clam usually owns a yacht, an automobile or a bald head—perhaps all three luxuries. If he is young, he has a governor somewhere digging up the munitions of war; if imbecile, then he has a son included in the retinue of aqueen of the Merry Cherries. Sum- merland is his favorite haunt, though he has others. The Clam never hiber- nates. He is always doing something —principally the aforementioned gov- ernor. His daily penance is wining, dining, boating and breaking speed laws for the Sea Serpent. Nature (in the form of ‘The Old Man’’) has given him a light heart and the backbone of a jelly fish, Be thankful for the Clam. Life holds him up as an example of what we might have been. Sea Serpents. Feminine, if you please—charmingly feminine. Densely populating Bar Har- bor, Atlantic City and the wilds of New- port. The Sea Serpent comes in ‘‘fifty- seven different varieties,’’ from the petite Broiler with a form like a Sevres vase to the Juno that has Venus de Milo backed up against the coal chute. The latter type is at home in the brine and can be seen plunging from the raft, us- ing the ‘‘crawl stroke,’’ and causing any amount of consternation among the males (and gossip among the female) It will be appreciated. ee el