Judge — June 29, 1912 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Something the Matter. HE auto enthusiast—he had owned a car just fourteen days—was consulting his physi- cian. “‘What seems the trouble?"’ the physician inquired, with deep concern. ‘Do you feel pain anywhere?"’ “No; it’s not that, exactly,’’ admitted the caller. ‘‘Just gen- eral disorder. You know a man can’t go over a reasonable mile- age on his tires—er, that is, my feet are troubling me."” “What else?’ asked the phy- “’My clutches are weak,’? com- plained the visitor. “I drop my knife, or my fork, or whatever I happen to be holding. Don’t seem to be right action in the of joints. Must be my bearings need oiling or something.”” “‘Rheumatism,’’ diagnosed the physician. “That's probably what you'd call it. There’s something the matter with my carbureter—- er, INCLINATION. . Billie Broadbrim— When 1 grow up I wanta belong to a circus." Johnnie Cap—* Huh! belong to me "’ When I grow up I want a circus to . too. stomach, too. Nothing 1 eat tastes good to me. I've tried calisthenics, I crank my arms with dumb bells every night and run around the billiard room on third speed, but it doesn’t seem to do me any good.”” The physician was thoughtful, but said nothing. “I tell you what’s the mat- ter!’’ stated the caller. ‘I’m all run down. My batteries are worn out, and my engine won't spark.” The physician scratched his head, still he offered no advice. “Ought I to go to a hospital and rest up a few weeks?”’ asked the auto enthusiast. “Not a bad suggestion at all,”” replied the physician. ‘That's just what I'd do if I were you. I'd run into a garage for a little while. When you come out you will find that you have been com- pletely overhauled.” You see, dear reader, the phy- sician was an auto enthusiast Penald A. Kahn. comicbooks.com