Judge, 1912-06-29 · page 7 of 25
Judge — June 29, 1912 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page collects brief satirical quips and jokes typical of early 20th-century Judge magazine. The content targets several social anxieties: **"Modern Philosophy"** mocks women as frivolous spenders and men as fortune-hunters who lose ambition once wealthy. **"Everything is Going Up"** contains a double-entendre joke: a salesman suggestively comments that bathing suits are "higher" and have "gone up several inches"—playing on both fashion prices and hemlines (a scandalous topic of the era). **"The First Honeymoon"** jokes darkly about marriage's brevity of happiness. **"Lawyers"** presents a standard complaint: lawyers profit from others' disputes. **"Her Error"** and "The Voice of Experience"** mock married couples—the first suggesting a woman married to a flatterer, the second ridiculing newlyweds' naïve belief they understand each other. The river-scene photographs illustrate leisure activities, contrasting with the cynical commentary. Overall, the page reflects era-typical misogyny and marital skepticism.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Modern Philosophy. INE, women and stung. Many a woman's figure rep- resents more dollars than sense. A frivolous woman draws the line nowhere but at her waist. Here’s to husbands! May they always have the last*word—but one! Just as soon as a man has ac- quired the wealth that constitutes a model husband, he has lost the desire to be one. If a man wants to know all about another man, he consults a commercial agency. A woman goes to a fortune-teller. Bertha Jeeph. Why? He's off with the old love And on with the new— The old had one million, The new one has two. The First Honeymoon. “Do you think it will always be summer in the Garden of Eden?” asked Eve. “"No,"” replied Adam, pointing to the ripening apples. “I think we shall have an early fall.” PROFIT AND LOSS Everything is Going Up. “T understand bathing suits are higher this year,’’ remarked the summer girl. ly. “Yes,” replied the callow salesman, blushing slight- ““I believe they have gone up several inches.’” TO HIM WHO HATH, The boy—‘' An’ me so full o' carrots !'" The Voice of Experience. “T can’tunderstand why married couples ever have a disagree- ment,” she said. ‘‘I don’t see why those matters can’t be so ad- justed that there will be no fric- tion. Now, my husband and I un- derstand each other thoroughly."’ “Indeed?” he replied. ‘*How long have you been married?”’ “*Nearly three days.”’ Lawyers. The lawyers, busy little bees, Who blow and prick litigious bubbles— They love a fight, because their fees Grow big with other people’s troubles. Her Error. Mrs. Stranger—‘‘Can you tell me who that stout, blond man is ‘over there? He is the worst soft soaper I ever met!"’ Dowager—"‘Yes. band.”” He is my hus- Both the summer girl and the fly do considerable buzzing around their victims before landing them. comicbooks.com