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Judge, 1912-05-04 · page 22 of 23

Judge — May 4, 1912 — page 22: what you’re looking at

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Judge — May 4, 1912 — page 22: Judge, 1912-05-04

What you’re looking at

This page features a humorous poem mocking the genteel male urbanite's romantic fantasies about gardening versus reality. The speaker enthusiastically declares in March his intention to reconnect with nature through gardening—imagining himself a "primitive man" rising at dawn to till soil. By June, reality sets in: weeds proliferate, stones multiply mysteriously, and his city work suffers neglect. By August, desperation drives him to suggest *his female servant* do the work instead, offering money when she refuses. By November, he admits defeat through excuses (poor health, interference) yet still romanticizes returning to gardening next year. The satire targets upper-middle-class male sentimentality—the tendency to idealize rustic simplicity while avoiding actual labor, and to exploit domestic staff when personal effort proves inconvenient. The poem's cyclical structure emphasizes how such enthusiasm perpetually reasserts itself despite repeated failure.

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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A Happy Marriage Depends largely on a knowl- oT er eaten das and their relation to nary everyday sources. SEXOLOGY (ilustrated) 1, A. M., M. D., imparts in a cleat whole- Knowledge a Young Man Should Mave. Knowledge » Young Husband Should Mav: Knowled; Father Should Mave. ed & Mother Should Impart to Mer Daughter. nowledge a Wife Should ‘all in One Volume. Illustrated, §2 postpaid Write for “Other People’s Opivions,”” and Table of Contents PURITAN PUB. CO., 792 Pei Bidg., Phila, Pa ~ will send as long a» they lt my 25e. book STRONG ARMS For 10 cent: stamps or coin. Mlustrated with 20 full page half-tone cuts showing exercises that will quickly develop, beautify and gain great strength in your shoulders, arms and hands with- out any apparatus. PROF. ANTHONY BARKER Se ymnashan 1042 Barker Building, 110 WEST 42ed STREET NEW YORK COPY THIS SKETCH and let me tee what youcan do with it, You can $125.00 of mote per week as illus nist. My practical system of per sonal individaal lesso talent. Fifteen yea amps and I will send you atest lesson plate, alo collection of drawings showing ponibilitis THE LANDON SCHOOL Ths P Read « live upto- Are You An Elk? '<,2,!**,07° filled with all the latest news and gossip of Elkdom, $1.50 per year National Elk’s Horn’ NORMAN M. VAUGHAN, Editor Mercantile Building ST. LOUIS, MO. Every new subscriber receives a bank free. in Bond inder Supervision of U.S. Gov't Inspectors PURE - MELLOW HEALTHFUL $35.00 | | | | | THE UNDERWOOD REVOLVING DUPLICATOR 0 4 iaaks, Comes Tent kak noriet Son Acstria will cost you $3. We make it here—mings doty—and sell andsend $2today, Write fot 1912Style Book of Hats and Caps FREE FRENCH P.H.CO., 8! 8) itintetpnta, Around the World with a Camera Write for particulars. You need this book— let us send prospectus—we are making a remarkable offer. LESLIE-JUDGE COMPANY, 225 Fifth Avenue, New York HENRY LINDENMEYR & SONS PAPER WAREHOUSE Nos. 2, 24 18 Bleecker Street Branch Warehouse, 20 Beekman Street, New York ALL KINDS OF PAPER MADE TO ORDER SHORT-STORY. WRITING Lippincott Lorpace catalogue free. ‘The Home Corresponde: 1S Besse Place, Spriagteld, Write to-day. e Sehool Bouvier BUCHU GIN A delightful DRINK; an excellent TONIC for the KIDNEYS and BLADDER. Ask for it anywhere liquors are sold. ; 22 The Garden. By GORTON CARRUTH. MARCH. ys GET at my garden as early This year as I possibly can. I long for the thrilling enjoyment of tilling The earth like a primitive man. To rise when the dew is still pearly And delve in the sweet-smelling soil— I tell you it braces one up and erases Effects of a clerical toil! JUNE. The weather is hot, but it’s clearly The weather for weeds; they can grow A dozen or two for the one that I do fa By wielding this back-breaking hoe. “The stones in this garden grow yearly In number and obstinate ways. My hands are all gritty; my work inthe city Is being neglected these days. AuGusT. My dear, I am frightfully bu: The garden is choking with weeds. A shame, for it’s able to furnish our table When getting the care that it needs, The kitchen is hot—wouldn’t Lizzie Go work in the garden a while? I'm not being funny! A man? Well, here’s money! There’s not any reason to smile! NOVEMBER. My garden? Well, so-so! I couldn't Keep at it—things would interfere! My health, too, was poorly, and so forth; but surely I'll manage it better next year. I'll start at it sooner; I wouldn’t Forego the delightful content I gain when I’m tilling the soil—it’s fulfilling, I'm certain, my natural bent. He's Cogitating Yet. It was on the Augusta Victoria, home- ward bound, that two Americans, 8 Frenchman and an Englishman were dis- cussing the relative value of European and American waiters, with the balance much in favor of the transatlantic variety. To illustrate his point, the American related the experience of & New Yorker in a Broadway cafe, whose bill of fare afforded a choice of mince pie, cherry pie, custard pie and apple. ‘You may bring me,’’ said the guest, “‘a piece of apple, of cherry and of cus- tard pie.”’ ‘‘Well,’’ ejaculated the waiter, ‘‘what is the matter with the mince pie, sor?” After the laugh had subsided, the Englishman leaned across the table. “Beg pardon, Dr. Smith, but what was the matter with.the mince pie?’’ In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be sppreciated. comicbooks.com