Judge, 1912-05-04 · page 23 of 23
Judge — May 4, 1912 — page 23: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains **several distinct pieces** rather than a unified political cartoon: **"Advice to a Peach"** (by Barbara Blair) is satirical verse addressing a woman as if she were fruit—counseling humility, sweetness, and inconspicuousness. The satire mocks contemporary advice to women to be passive, attractive, and unambitious to avoid danger or unwanted attention. The irony is that safety requires remaining "green" and unattractive. **"As of Old"** is nostalgic verse about a man missing his wife's former domestic role, despite her now having servants—satirizing male nostalgia for simpler times and resentment of women's improved circumstances. **"A Joke in Cipher"** and **"On Broadway"** are brief comic pieces about gossip and women's fashion (specifically hosiery with holes). **The remainder is advertising**: a lengthy Bell Telephone System corporate explanation of network expansion, and a High Life Beer advertisement. The page reflects early 20th-century Judge humor—genteel satire of gender roles, aspiration, and social anxieties, alongside corporate messaging.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Advice to a Peach. By BARBARA BLAIR. HILE a humble and lowly position, the bottom of the basket is far safer. The harder you are, the better you will get along in the world. Remember that sweetness is the most important quality for you to cultivate. Appearing green will sometimes carry you safely through an embarrassing position. Try and cultivate a calm repose of manner when some one tells you you “look good enough to eat.’’ Don't seek luxuries. Remember, the handsomer your basket and the more elaborate your ribbons, the greater your danger. Don’t waste time envying your bet- ter-looking sisters, If they are the first to leave the family tree, you may have cause to be glad you were the last. Bear in mind there is safety in ugli- ness and contentment in obscurity. If the shade of the orchard keeps you hard and green, the sun, which gives you bloom and beauty, renders you lovely in the eyes of those who seek to destroy you. As of Old. Aurelia, when we first were wed And very poor, baked all our bread. Ab, that was many, many years ago! But still I mind how sweet it seemed, When by the kitchen fire I dreamed, To watch Aurelia briskly kneading dough. Aurelia lives in splendor now, A score of servants to her bow; The chef and baker lord it there below; But, dreaming idly by the grate, Here in our drawing-room of state, I find Aurelia still is needing dough. A Joke in Cipher. ORIGINAL. A-SSSSEE! B—?? A—(2)— te eeeeen B-!!! TRANSLATION. A—‘Mercy! but he’s rolling in mon B—Where did he get it all?”” A-‘That’s what nobody knows; but they do say, ete., etc., ete., etc., ete.’” B—My, my, my!" On Broadway. Of all sorry sights to the masculine view, There is one inexpressibly shocking— ’Tis a short-skirted girl in a neat, low- cut shoe, With a hole in the heel of her stocking. The Chain of Communication FAH Bell Telephone is the center of the system. This system may be any size or any shape, with lines radiating from any subscriber’s telephone, like the spokes of a wheel, to the limits of the subscriber’s requirements, whether ten miles or a thousand. Somewhere on the edge of this subscriber’s radius is another who requires a radius of lines stretch- ing still further away. On the edge of this second subscriber’s radius is still a third, whose re- quirements mean a further exten- sion of the lines, and so on. This endless chain of systems may be illustrated by a series of overlapping circles, Each addi- tional subscriber becomes a new center with an extended radius of communication, reaching other subscribers, However small the radius, the step- by-step extension from neighbor to neighbor must continue across the continent without a stopping place, until the requirements of every individual have been met. There can be no limit to the ex- tension ot telephone lines until the whole country is covered. There can be no limit to the system of which each Bell telephone is the center, up to the greatest distance that talk can be carried. Because these are the fundamental needs of a nation of telephone users, the Bell System must pro- vide universal service. AMERICAN TELEPHONE AND TELEGRAPH COMPANY AND ASSOCIATED COMPANIES One Policy One System Universal Service HIGH LIFE Jor BE ER eweo By MILLER MiLwauKEE 23 In answering aavertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com