Judge, 1912-04-13 · page 9 of 24
Judge — April 13, 1912 — page 9: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two separate satirical pieces about dietary restriction and medical practice in the early 20th century. **Main Story ("Cupid on a Diet"):** A parody of Edgar Allan Poe's style mocking romantic lovers forced onto strict diets by their doctor. The couple had enjoyed luxurious foods (turkey, truffles, foie gras, champagne), but the doctor prescribes a severe restriction to crackers and hay—leaving them miserable. The satire targets both the fad dieting culture of the era and the doctor's stern authority. **Bottom Cartoon ("Talking Shop"):** Two doctors discuss a wealthy patient ("Gotrox"). When asked what ailment he has, one replies: "Two hundred thousand dollars"—implying the patient's real "disease" is wealth, and doctors treat wealthy patients differently (more profitably). This mocks physicians for prioritizing rich patients. **Top Photograph:** An unrelated comedic scene showing a woman being asked to lend her infant to attract alligators at a Florida hotel—absurdist humor typical of Judge's tone. The overall theme: critiques of medical professionals and contemporary consumer culture.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
(la. m.) AT THE FLORIDA HOTEL. “* Pardon me, madam, but could I borrow your infant for a few hours to-morrow aight. I want to use him to attract alligators."’ Cupid ona Diet. E HAD feasted on turkey and truf- fles, with ice-frosted bottles and things, on birds with their legs done in ruffles and mushrooms hid under the wings, with pate de foie gras that one muffles in lemon—a morsel for kings!— while a fat partridge met no re (AFTER EDGAR ALLAN POE.) matter with him?'’—while he watched her, all etiquette scorning, looking over a magazine brim; and he tried, through her vision adorning, a muck-raking story to skim. And this message to each went a-ring- buffals on his plate amid artichoke rings. : She had lunched, at the loveli- est places, on ices, pink eclairs, and sweets—on Maillard's most exquisite sweets, tied with rib- bons and neat paper laces—the frivolous stuff that one eat candies and cakes that one eats; though one shouldn’t, of course, when one laces and the waist for reduction entreats—the torso for banting entreats. So they met at the doctor's one morning—at the doctor’s, so p~ ing, when the doctor man got them alone—when he got them securely alone; and you'd almost have thought he was singing, so gladsome and gay was his tone; like a bird on an apple bough swinging, he chirped as he maundered this moan—each hungry heart cruelly stinging, as he maundered this mockingsome moan. And he said, ‘‘No more coffee or ices, no more turkey or truffles or chops; and though quail stuffed with mushrooms quite nice is, to- gether with gurgle that pops— the glittersome gurgle that pops; the gladness that fizzes and pops —remember how horrid the price is, and think how your wisdom it stops—consider how awful the price is and the way that your rea- gon it stops!”” And each with a sorrow was rinding and grim—in the wait- ing-room gloomy and dim; they met without wishing or warning, and she thought, ‘‘What’s the TALKING SH Doctor Pill—"* 1 understand you are treating old Gotrox. What has he got ?"’ Doctor Pellet-—* Oh, two hundred thousand dollars."’ sighing; on a milk-cure he sent them away, to live upon crackers and hay; the girl in her sadnes. was crying, and, oh! what that comicbooks.com