Judge, 1912-03-16 · page 21 of 23
Judge — March 16, 1912 — page 21: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains **satirical stories and period advertisements** rather than traditional political cartoons. **The "Two Little Relatives" Stories:** These are humorous moral tales satirizing reform movements. The first mocks a woman imposing her aesthetic standards on family members. The second ridicules a self-righteous "uplifter" who campaigns for charitable causes (Bibles, talking machines for the poor) with such zeal that he alienates everyone—then desperately seeks community by converting to Mormonism, acquiring 114 cousins and multiple mothers-in-law. The satire targets sanctimonious do-gooders and their unintended consequences. **"Calling a Bluff":** This references **Mr. Underwood's tariff revision** (likely Oscar Underwood, 1911-era congressman) and **Mr. Bryan's** challenge regarding iron and steel schedules. Bryan accused Underwood of avoiding iron/steel tariffs because Underwood had business interests in those industries. The joke: Underwood now prioritizes those exact schedules, suggesting Bryan "called his bluff." The rest is **period beer and whiskey advertising**—standard for Judge magazine of this era.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
was the limit! It almost gave her hysterics to see Brother George (who was a plain business man) dressed up in what he fondly considered good taste. She might have converted them all if one day she hadn't told Brother George just exactly what she thought of a swell new vest he had on, Good-night! Two. Two little relatives dwelt in unison; Till Relative A began a campaign’ for uplifting the worthy poor. He was so zealous in circulating his subscrip- tion lists for the purchase of Bibles for the impoverished pious and talk- ing machines for larynxless laborers that suddenly one day there was just one. One little relative—lonesome, rubbed, and raw; Didn't know what to do with himself— he felt so lost without any argumenta- tive relatives left. Finally he decided to take up something himself, so he went in for Mormonism; and now, as much as he yearrs for the old, quiet life, he can’t regain it, because he has (in addition to the more essential relatives) one hundred and fourteen cousins-, forty-eight aunts-, twelve brothers-, twenty-six sisters-, and seven mothers-in-law. Calling a Bluff. Last summer, when Mr. Underwood began putting in his hit-or-miss tariff- revision schedules, he was rebuked by Mr. Bryan for avoiding that relating to iron and steel. Mr. Underwood retorted that the others were much more impor- tant to the country. Then followed the rejoinder from the Nebraskan that Ua- derwood was in the steel and iron busi- ness, and the latter was forced to admit that the assertion had a basis of truth. None of the Underwood measures be- came laws at the special session. Mr. Underwood is under the necessity of beginning again. This time the iron and steel schedule is the first to appear, and the others, that last year were held to be of paramount and vital importance, are being held back. It would appear that Mr. Bryan has ‘‘thrown a scare’’ on Mr. Underwood. . es popularity Y ES iS Py Inside 7 =the The Secret keeps Pure Be Pure “Schlitz in Brown Bottles” has a full, fine flavor which brings to you the taste of the barley and the hops. It has the sparkle and life due to a perfect yeast. The freedom from germs shows careful sterilization. It does not cause biliousness or ferment in your stomach, as it is properly aged be- fore leaving the brewery. The Brown Bottle insures absolute protec- ton ma the damaging ettects of light. “ Order a case from your dealer today. See that crown or cork is branded “* Schlitz." P The Bee nd That Made Milwaukee Famous. 16-M Let the Flag of Truce Wave. Evidently the United States army is at war in these piping times of peace. There is trouble among the men higher up and it has spread to those highest up. It is not worth while to go into the causes, and it is sufficient to say that these causes should be removed. Bick- erings and jealousies at the top are likely to spread through the whole sys- tem and produce demoralization. Let us have peace by all means, especially in the army, so that when war comes it will be tuned up for the most effective AMERICA’S FINEST WHISKEY TAKE A BOTTLE HOME TONIGHT first-class Bars, Cafes, Grocers service. and Mail Order Houses.” In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com