Judge, 1912-03-16 · page 13 of 23
Judge — March 16, 1912 — page 13: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two satirical pieces from *Judge* magazine. **"Johnnie's Primer Lesson"** (main feature) is a children's educational parody that teaches vocabulary through a visiting country woman's behavior. The humor centers on "rubber-necking"—the contemporary slang for nosily gawking at surroundings. The piece playfully extends this metaphor, describing the guest as literally having a "rubber neck" like a lobster or crane, stretching and twisting to observe everything in the city home. The joke mocks both tourists' intrusive curiosity and their extended stays (three to four months). It's satirizing the annoying habit of uninvited guests who pry into household affairs while overstaying their welcome. **"Mistaken Identity"** (right column) humorously recounts Wyoming Governor Carey being repeatedly mistaken for the mayor of a New York city. A policeman even offers to escort him home, assuming drunkenness. The satire gently mocks both the governor's apparent resemblance to a local politician and small-town authorities' presumptions about mayoral behavior.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
SIR LAUNCELOT KESCUES THE MAIDEN PKOM DONJON KEEP. Johnnie’s Primer Lesson. By HARROLD SKINNER Topic—Guests. Coane. Oh, see the cab! Go, go! cab, go, Will the cab go by! RECIPROCAL. Grandma—'' Why, Frederick, I'm sur- prised !"" Frederick—“ It's mutual, grandma t's mutual." No, the cab will not go by. The cab will stop at our door, and then it will go by. LOOK! LOOK! What is that fun-ny old thing in the cab? Is it a wom-an going to the train? NO-00-00! It is a wom-an coming from the train. The woman is a guest. She lives in the country, some-times, What is the guest doing in the cab, then? Rub-ber-ing! What is she rub-ber-ing for? She is rub-ber-ing for our number. She must have found it in the tele-phone book. SEE! SEE! lit-tle throat! That is not a lit-tle throat. lit-tle neck and long. HOW QUEER! Is she a Lit-tle Neck oyst-er? NO-00-00! She is twist-ing her Itisa She is a rub-ber neck lob-ster! Ho, ho! She is stretch-ing her neck like a crane! Will she break her neck? Oh, no, in-deed! It is made of rub- ber. But she isn’t rub-bing any-thing, is she? Not yet. She is wait-ing to rub it into me. Is she com-ing to stay for three or four days? NO-00-00-00! The guest is coming to stay for three or four months. Why does she do it? GOODNESS KNOWS! SHE IS “Is the lady of the house at home?” Mistaken Identity. Some folks are everlastingly being mistaken for others. Governor Carey, of Wyoming, discovered, on a recent visit to a city of considerable size in New York State, that he was a dead ringer for the mayor. “The fact was further impresséd upon my mind one night on the street,’’ Gov- ernor Carey goes on, ‘‘when, just out- side of my hotel, I was hailed by a large policeman, who said, ‘Mr. Mayor, may I help you home to-night?’ I replied that I was feeling very well, indeed; and as the policeman turned away I overheard him remark to another patrol- man, ‘The mayor is certainly behaving himself better lately than he used to do.’ ”* comicbooks.com