Judge — March 2, 1912 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

IMPERATIVE MOOD. Mother—" Louise, you must not slam down your doll in her crib like that. It is just as easy to lay her down quietly.” Lontse—** It ain't when you ‘re mad."’ How To Build an Airship at "THERE is no reason why every boy and girl who reads this should not have an aeroplane of his or her own, made of materials picked up about the house. No expense is necessary—all you need is skill and ingenuity. First, the frame must be made. Remove all the furniture from the parlor, except the piano. This will be needed later to fur- nish wires, etc. Now rip about forty yards of picture molding from the walls, being careful to first remove the pic- tures. Then make two oblong frames, about a hundred feet in length, and over them stretch a number of breadths of your mother's silk dresses. They should be sewn together laterally by a cat- stitch. If mother is addicted to the hobble skirt, you may have to fall back on grandma’s wardrobe. Now tack the silk onto the frames by means of brass tacks, taken from the parlor furniture, removed from the parlor at the opening of this lesson. If you have difficulty in extracting the tacks from the furniture, burn it up, being careful not to pick up the tacks until they have cooled off. When the frames are finished, connect them at the corners by means of spindles taken from the front hall banister. The engine must have a firm foundation, and for this the sounding board of the piano should be firmly fastened in the center of the lower plane by means of set screws. You will probably find a set in auntie’s work basket. Now we come to the engine. If, after searching carefully about the house, you do not find a three or four hundred horse-power engine, the best way is to take papa’s checkbook and write a check for $2,000, carefully forging papa’s name. This can easily be done after a few months’ practice. The propeller is made by means of a double-ended canoe paddle, carefully warped by being left in the rain fora season or two. Bolt all the parts to- gether tightly, using the various parts of papa’s touring car as connections. Now you are ready to soar aloft, and the whole thing hasn’t cost youa cent. Let your first trip be over the nearest ceme- Home. tery. This will save the expense of em- ploying a hearse to transport you there. Children should always think of economy before pleasure. JupGe will give a prize of a quart of gasoline for the fast- est flight made in a machine constructed according to these simple directions. Flights straight downward not con- sidered. Flies in a Home-made Aeroplane. (Wilmington, Del, Jan. 27.—In a trial fieht at Horse Show Park, Clinton R. Miller, aged 27 yearn, a tenidest of Brandywine Hundred, lifted from the Fround and skimmed in the ait in a home-made aero- plane of bis own investi construction. } Alas, alack, if we've begun Home-made aeroplanes to make! Directions how it should be done Will soon appear (near rules for cake) Like this: ‘*Two old tomato cans, Three yards of canvas or of chintz, Some zephyr, and two palm-leaf fans Will make an airship.—Household Hints.’’ Grace McKinstry. Drilled In. “She has piercing eyes, hasn’t she?’’ “*Yes. She’s an awful bore.” comicbooks.com