Judge, 1912-01-20 · page 5 of 24
Judge — January 20, 1912 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
**Top Cartoon:** A well-dressed New Yorker tells a fashionable woman he must travel to Chicago on business. She questions why anyone would go there for any reason—a dig at Chicago's reputation as an unsophisticated, industrial city compared to New York. This reflects early 20th-century East Coast snobbery toward the Midwest. **Main Article:** "A Little Journey into Physical Geography" by Carleton G. Garretson is a pseudo-educational essay about snow, written in flowery, pretentious language. It's likely satirizing overly complicated scientific explanations of common phenomena. **Bottom Cartoon:** "A Head-On Collision" shows two figures in a minor accident, with one man joking he'll use it as an excuse to avoid buying his wife a Persian lamb coat—satirizing marital dynamics and male reluctance to spend money on wives' luxury items.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
New Yorker—"* I have got to go to Caicago for a week, dear."* Wife—" On business ?"’ New Yorker—" What other reason could one have for going to Chicago?" A Little Joumey into Physical Geography. SNOW. OOK in your dictionaries and you will be surprised to see that snow is derived from the Latin word ‘‘nix."’ Those who have suburban residences abutting on long stretches of sidewalk will hesitate before agreeing that snow is ‘‘nix’’; but that is neither here nor there. The original purpose of snow was to be a diversion for our youth and a source of inspiration to our poets. It is now used, however, for increasing the budgets of the city street-cleaning de- partments, displaying theatrical signs, testing the staying qualities of automo- biles, and augmenting the vocabularies of city pedestrians. In pastoral por- tions of the universe snow is white, and by some enthusiasts is even styled beau- tifal; but in the centers of population it soon assumes a sunburned aspect and becomes a source of inspiration only to humorous rhymsters and a source of desperation to perambulating humanity. It isa thoughtful provision of Mamma Nature that snow never falls in the sum- mer, when it would hide the beauties of By CARLETON G. GARRETSON. the posies and the greensward; but it is precipitated in winter instead, when the ground is naked and cold and needs its protection. Are you not glad? Snow is a perfectly harmless material, except when hiding an ice patch on the sidewalk or when modeled into spheres and used as missiles. To test the effect of a snowball, hurl it forcibly at a silk hat. If your aim is successful, many interesting things will happen in the vicinity of the hat. The blueness of the surrounding atmosphere will form a striking contrast to the pristine white- ness of earth’s dazzling mantle. This phenomenon is called an optical illusion, A HEAD-ON COLLISION. If the owner of the silk hat apprehends you, the result is called a case of assault and battery. Many useful articles are named after snow. Among them are the snowshed, built for storing snow for use in theatrical performances during the summer; snowplows, devices on runners used by farmers for cultivating their soil in the wintertime; snowbirds, birds who build their nests in snow- drifts; snow apples, so called because they melt in one’s mouth; and snow shovels, used as an aid in apportioning one’s share of a snowstorm among one’s neighbors. Now you should be able to tell snow from hail, rain, wind, or any of the other elemental disturbances. Brute! Knicker—‘‘ What's all Persia?’’ Bocker—'‘Dunno; but I'll use it as an excuse not to give my wife a Persian lamb coat.’” this row in Still water runs deep, but who ever heard of it getting anywhere? comicbooks.com