Judge, 1912-01-06 · page 16 of 24
Judge — January 6, 1912 — page 16: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is a **humor and satire page** from Judge magazine, featuring multiple short jokes and comic sketches typical of early 20th-century American satire. **Main cartoon (top):** A domestic dispute over marital finances. The wife demands payment ("all that you are you owe to me"), while the husband dismisses her with "thirty cents. Now we're square"—mocking both her financial dependence and his stinginess. **Key satirical content:** - **"A Resolution"**: Mocks New Year's resolutions as easily abandoned (a man vows to quit smoking but immediately changes his mind) - **"The Real Objection"**: Jokes about slumlords who charge rent but don't provide heat - **"Great Scott!"**: Celebrates fatherhood despite sleep deprivation - **"The Coal Pile"**: References winter fuel shortages (likely WWI-era rationing) - **"A bromide"**: Defines a "bromide" as someone satisfied with the status quo—a period term for a clichéd person The page satirizes working-class struggles (heating, food, coal) alongside domestic complaints and social commentary typical of Judge's readership.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Wife A Resolution. Made by C. LESLIE VAN EVERY. O' PIPE, good-by! 'Tis New Year’s Day! And now must I Throw you away. It hurts, dear pal! I always shall Remember you, My comrade true! You now must drop Until you stop Upon the street At people's feet! But, stay! My mind Is changed, I find. I'll want to light You up ’fore night— Smile at yourself! Stay on the shelf! The Real Objection. “‘What’s the matter? Do you object to the heating of your flat?” asked the rent collector. ‘No, it’s not that; it’s the fact Jmogen that you don’t heat it which I ob- ject to.’” Great Scott! ° Teethes there a babe whose cries are faint, Who suffers pain without complaint? 'Tis not my own, if there be such. The midnight oil for weeks we've burned, And my poor head for sleep has yearned. But would I part with babe? Not much! An agreeable gin to brokers—mar-gin. “* All that you are you owe to me." LOOKS LIKE THEM “AYE, AYE, SIR." “Ob, papa! Surely he must be hurt.”” Father—"* Nonsense, pettie, those chaps are used to hardships."* A bromide is one who is satisfied with things as they are. Be not him. THE ONLY REAL WHITE HOPE. Husband—"' Here are thirty cents. Now we’ re square."" The Coal Pile. Little blinding snow storms, Little winds that roar Make the precious coal pile Shrink up more and more. On the Job. Bartender—‘What’s the mat- ter? Eating all the lunch on this counter! Have you no home?” Bum—'‘I am a food inspector.”” The Select Twenty. Anybody can name twenty men who might be the greatest—but naming twenty who might be the smallest would be more difficult. The Only Way. Little drops of perspiration, Little grains of grit— The only way to show the world That you are really ‘‘It.”’ His Point of View. Hank Stubbs—‘‘Looks like we're goin’ to hev a purty hard winter.’” Bige Miller—‘‘Thet’s the way it seems to them who are allus lookin’ fur the soft side uv ev’rything.’” Memoranda. Of course, the ‘higher up’’ a man is, the harder it is to get at him. Just because a girl wears a pony coat is no sign she is a high stepper. comicbooks.com