Judge, 1911-12-02 · page 18 of 24
Judge — December 2, 1911 — page 18: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several satirical pieces typical of Judge's social humor: **Top**: A mock wedding invitation parodies social climbing—the "Bitious" family eagerly advertises their marriageable daughter to "Mr. Eligible Man," with inspection and dancing scheduled like a commercial transaction. **"Famished"**: A brief joke about extreme hunger, using exaggeration for comedic effect. **China Editorial**: Mocks the recent Chinese Revolution (1911) by noting the Emperor is five years old—implying that granting constitutional reforms through a child figurehead is meaningless ("Young blood will tell"). **"Self-made Beauty"**: Satirizes women who suffer through tight corsets and hot curling irons to achieve fashionable appearance, calling such self-inflicted pain absurd. **"No Room for Crinoline"**: The main article argues that even if hoop skirts return to fashion, modern crowded streetcars make them impractical. It also suggests men lack the old-fashioned gallantry to tolerate women monopolizing seats with their skirts—a commentary on changing social manners and urban congestion.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Mrs. and Mr. A. M. Bitious (urgently) request the pleasure of Mr. Eligible Man's company on Tuesday, November 13,1911, to meet our (marriageable) daughter Miss Ito Am A. M. Bitious. 34 Etiquette Boulevard. 5 107, Inspection, 7 to 12, Dancing. uU_ ‘ Famished. TAtk about being hungry! I was hungry as a bear; So, walking into a dairy lunch, I ate off the arm of a chair. i Rie Emperor of China has signed an edict dismissing obnoxious minis- ters and granting a liberal constitution to the country. The Emperor of China is five years of age. Young blood will tell. “* Well, boys, why are you working so hard ?"” “The man in there said he lost ten cents and that we could have it if we found it.”* IF A BODY be presented With a bottle of rye, Need a body at one sitting Drain the bottle dry? A Self-made Beauty. ((GHE dresses with great pains.” “Yes; her shoes pinch, her corset is too tight, and she frequently scorches herself with a curling iron.’’ “Yes, I want all the snow cleared a1 ““D'yez pay by the day or the job?” No Room for HE REVIVAL of crinoline for women is proposed, An effort in that direction was made about twenty years ago, but the shouting and tumult of protest were so general that the res- toration did not come to pass. Hoop skirts and crinoline were in vogue dur- ing the Civil War and for a few years before it broke out. In those times it was no uncommon sight to see a woman enter a street car and spread out her skirts so that she occupied space that would have given seats for three passen- gers. Nor was it uncom- mon for some desperate men to plump themselves down on these skirts. Such incidents sometimes led lovely women to use unlovely words. If crin- oline were to come back and a woman should un- dertake to appropriate three seats in a street car during the rush hours for herself and skirts, there would be interest- How long will it take you ?”” Crinoline. ing results. The prediction may be made that the wearing of crinoline will not be revived to suchan extent that you could notice it. The streets and transporta- tion vehicles are more crowded than they were fifty years ago. Perhaps, too, there isn’t as much gallantry as there was half a century ago and the chap who would sit on the spreading skirt of a young woman has grown in numbers. " Ye'd better stop throwin’ snowballs at me, Katie. First thing ye know ye'll break that window,” comicbooks.com