Judge — December 2, 1911 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

OF SOME USE. She—'' What are the higher courts for?'’ He—"' Why, some chaps, you know, have money left when the lower courts get through with them." Major Archie Butt in Gotham. By WILLIAM J. LAMPTON. Those of us who couldo’t get quite sear enoatd to see the President got a good deal of satisfaction out of a glimpse of Archie Butt.—Frem the Chicage Pest. IKEWISE did little old New York Enjoy the pleasing view Of Major Archie marching round In buttons, lace, and blue. But Archie is no dove of peace, For by his soldier charms The ladies dropped the ballot-box And strove to rush to arms. P.S. Archie got away, as usual. Mary Again. ARY had a little lamb, For which she didn’t care; She cut the wool from off its back, And now it is a little bare. No Room for End-seat Hog in Church. UT IN Ohio a crusade has been started against the end-seat hog in churches. The custom of the first comer monopolizing the end seats in church pews is now selfish. There was a time when it was justified. The head of the family would take the end seat so as to be ready to protect his loved ones in case of an attack by Indians.” There is not much danger now of such attacks, and the Christian spirit can be displayed when the first comer moves along and gives his brother or sister the choice end seat. Education. Knicker—‘‘Is Smith tal in a correspondence school? Bocker—‘‘Yes; he is learning the col- lege yell by phonograph."” Misrepresentation. SY CUVE. spoiled the sale of my new novel!’” “What's the matter?” “You reviewed it under the heading ‘Recent Books,’ and the printer made it read ‘Decent Books,’ instead.’’ The Mrs. Misses the Misses. By J. W. BURGESS F A WOMAN has one daughter, who goes away, the Mrs. misses the Miss and the Miss misses the Mrs. If she has two daughters and both are away, the Mrs. misses the Misses and the Misses miss the Mrs. If she has three daughters, and two are at one place and one at another, the Mrs. misses the Miss and the Misses, and the Miss A brilliant young chap from Fargo, Fell in love with a peach from Chicago; He said, ‘' Be my wife, And sail through life ‘As my own dear little she-cargo."’ misses the Mrs. and the Misses. If it is four daughters she has and two are at one place, while the other two are away from home and separated, the Mrs. misses the Miss and the Misses and the Miss, and the Miss and the Misses miss the Misses and the Mrs., while the Misses miss the Mrs., and the Miss misses the Miss and the Misses and the Mrs. So they would all better remain at home with the Mr. of the Mrs. Considerate. want you to help me pick Jaggs out an auto.’” Loan shark—'‘Why me?” Jaggs—‘*You'll probably own it in a short time."’ MALICE PREPENSE. “* George, father advised me last night that I must not have you call on me."" “I think you misunderstood him, dearie. Why he gave me a cigar this morning."* “Oh! Then you haven't smoked it yet.” Wait a Bit! RENTON has had the commission form of government only a few weeks. Nevertheless, the statement is made that an annual saving of $30,000 has been effected. This news may be cheering to taxpayers, but they will be better satisfied if the saving material- izes at the end of the year. Cities often get municipal reform, but not often do they get reduced taxes. Some- how, promises of such reductions rarely take substantial form or show on tax bills. VS “THE HEIGHT OP SATISPACTION.” comicbooks.com