Judge, 1911-11-18 · page 16 of 24
Judge — November 18, 1911 — page 16: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This Judge magazine page contains several short humorous pieces: **"Training His Nerves"**: A son-in-law practices "airmanship" (early aviation) by hanging from a rope while his mother-in-law watches—the joke being that he's deliberately terrifying himself, perhaps to impress or escape her. **"Solution of the War Problem"**: A satirical suggestion that Italy should send the Black Hand (a real Italian criminal organization/secret society) to fight the Ottoman Empire ("the Unspeakable Turk") during the Italo-Turkish War. The humor lies in the absurdity of proposing criminals solve diplomatic problems, plus mocking the correspondent for sending a collect telegram. **Other brief items**: A pun about the Mona Lisa's value, a children's logic joke about Little Bo-Peep, a coincidence about an actress's stage name, and a poem about debutantes losing childhood innocence to society balls. The "Fresh from the Nursery" anecdote humorously depicts a child mishearing "antitoxin" as "Auntie Toxin." The overall tone is light domestic and social satire typical of early 20th-century American humor magazines.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
TRAINING HIS NERVES. Mother-in-law- to now?" Son-in-lare looks from up in the air."’ Solution of the War Problem. UR OLD friend, Mr. Blithers Bil- dad, having read in the newspapers that Italy has decided to take a fall out of the Sublime Porte, rushed to the tele- graph office the other night and wired us the following lettergram: In the Dago-Turk rumpus, begorra, To free it from terror and murk, Why not make the Black Hand Camorra Go fight the Unspeakable Turk? We find much good sense in Mr. Bil- dad's suggestion, and it is hereby passed on to the Italian minister of war. Asa matter of fact, we find but one objection to our correspondent’s communication, and that was that it was sent ‘‘collect.’” MONA LISA in the Louvre is worth two outside. “ What in the name of goodness, William Henry, are you up “I'm taking lessons in airmanship, and I want to see how a city Unrecognizable. LTE Bopeep had lost her sheep. “Did you look for them in an ani- mal book?’’ they cried. Hopefully she followed the sugges- tion, but failed to recognize the genus. The Seasons. Bronz—Quite a coincidence, it?” Lenoz—‘ What?” Bronz—Why, Miss Summers opens at the Winter Garden in ‘The Spring Maid’ this Fall.” On the Side Lines. I YOU watch the football players, You will presently be shown That every little movement Has a signal of its own. isn’t Debutante Life Lesson. By LIDA KECK WIGGINS. HERE, little girl, don’t cry! They have taken your doll, ‘tis true; But they're planning clothes, Cotillions, and beaus, And grown-up parties for you. Your love for dolly will soon pass by— There, little girl, don’t cry! There, little girl, don’t cry! They have taken your slate, 'tis true; But you'll spend your days In the rainbow haze Of functions all held for you, And school-slate problems sponged dry— There, little girl, don’t ery! will be There, little girl, don’t cry! They have taken your child-heart, ‘tis true; But you’re coming out, And without a doubt Prince Charming will come to you, Bringing the romance for which you sigh— There, little girl, don’t cry! Fresh from the Nursery. Y LITTLE six-year-old niece, Bar. bara, had diphtheria last winter, and antitoxin was used. The name “antitoxin’? seemed to make quite an impression on the child, and she repeated the word over and over again. Shortly after she had recovered, she knelt down one evening at her mother’s knee, as was her custom, to say her prayer. This is the way she finished it: “God bless Auntie Betty and Auntie Nan and Auntie Margaret—and God bless Auntie Toxin, too.’’ “SOME INTERESTING THINGS IN PRINT.” comicbooks.com