Judge — November 4, 1911 — page 19: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Above the Practical. She cannot cook, she cannot sew, Of business has no knowledge; She cannot even make a bed— She learned too much in college. —Yonkers Statesman. Heredity.—'‘Judge,”” said the guilty man, ‘‘I inherit this felonious habit. I can’t resist it. My father was a grafter and my mother a photographer. I can’t help taking things.”” “Then take seven years at hard labor,’’ said the judge kindly.—Cleve- land Plain Dealer, Why He Left.—‘‘Why did you leave that swell boarding house?’’ “Because the swellness was at the expense of the food supply.”” “What do you mean?’’ “Four kinds of forks and two kinds of vegetables.’’—Louisville Courier-Jour- nal, The Tea Penalty A STRONG MAN’S EXPERIENCE. Writing from a busy railroad town the wife of an employe of one of the great roads says: “My husband is a railroad man who has been so much benefited by the use of Postum that he wishes me to express his thanks to you for the good it has done him. His waking hours are taken up with his work, and he has no time to write himself. “He has been a great tea drinker all his life and has always liked it strong. “Tea has, of.late years, acted on him like morphine does upon most people. At first it soothed him, but only for an hour or so; then it began to affect his nerves to such an extent that he could not sleep at night, and he would go to his work in the morning wretched and miserable from the loss of rest. This condition grew constantly worse, until his friends persuaded him, some four months ago, to quit tea and use Postum. “At first he used Postum only for breakfast, but as he liked the taste of it, and it somehow seemed to do him good, he added it to his evening meal. Then, as he grew better, he began to drink it for his noon meal, and now he will drink nothing else at table. “His condition is so wonderfully im- proved that he could not be hired to give up Postum and go back to tea. His nerves have become steady and reliable once more, and his sleep is easy, natural and refreshing. “He owes all this to Postum, for he has taken no medicine and made no other change in his diet. “His brother, who was very nervous from coffee drinking, was persuaded by us to give up the coffee and use Postum, and he also has recovered his health and strength.’’ Name given by Postum Co., Battle Creek, Mich. Read the little book, ‘‘The Road to Wellville,”” in packages, ‘‘There’s a Teason.’" Ever read the above letter? A_new One appears from time to time. They are genuine, true, and full of human Interest, AN IRISH BULL. “I am so tired that some day T am going ta sleep a whole week.” The Wail of the Amateur. “Again the garden proved a bluff,’’ He said, in tones austere. “Thaven’t gathered things enough To plant the place next year.”’ —Washington Star. A Question Resented.—‘‘Don’t you ever have any accidents on this road?’’ said the worried traveler. “Course we do,’’ replied the rural conductor. ‘‘But you don’t expect we’re goin’ to run a train off the track jes to ay-muse every foreigner that comes down here an’ buys a ticket, do you?”’ —Washington Star. Just Like Canada.—-'‘Tom, what is rec- iprocity?’’ “It’s this way. I give you a hug and you give me a kiss. That’s reciprocity. Will you do it?” “I fear it might lead to annexation, and I don’t know that I am prepared for that.’’—Red Hen. Enduring Celebrity.—‘‘Do you expect to leave footprints in the sands of time?” “No,”’ replied the flippant person; “*but my dog has left footprints in some fresh paving cement that I bet will puz- zle the geologists a few centuries hence.'’— Washington Star, “Get a Horse.’’—Redd—‘‘Doesn’t he always get the cart before the horse?’’ Greene—‘‘Not always. I saw him to- day with a horse before his automo- bile.”’— Yonkers Statesman. Meritorious, But — Flossie — ‘‘What makes you think he is a model young man?’” Mamie—“‘Oh, he is so dull !""—Brown- ing’s Magazine. Sliced Oranges with a dash of Abbott's Bitters are appetizing and healthful. Sample by mail, 25 cts. in stamps, C. W. Abbott & Co., Baltimore, Md. ‘The greatest triump the electric marvelous!: gem. Looks like a mond—wears like a di mond-brilliancy guaran- teed forever—stands filing, mond, or artificial” backin f only in 14 Karat Solid gold 1-30. the cost of diamonds. Guaranteed to contain no glass—will cot glass. Sent on approval. Money cheerfully refunded if not perfectly satis- factory. | Write today for our ‘De-Luxe Jewel Book— it's free ing. Address— Remoh on Co. This Fine Reclining Rocker put right in your home on a 30 day trial FOR ONL' & Hate 2 A. OLtaR Patent S Fes} inte Patent reining bed ft Food eect sect e Beat, back and istered in. pigh Imperi, jalloather edemasteateg etal tem pered steoleprings. 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