Judge — November 4, 1911 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

E HAVE WITH US TO-NIGHT by HOMER Cro. CAPPER, ARTHUR.—One day, thirty years ago, a young fellow out in Kansas stopped hilling up and tamping dirt around a stock of corn to keep the wind from picking it up and whipping it into breakfast food, and said, ‘‘Why should I spend all my life fighting cyclones and try- ing to keep a hill of corn from pick- ing up its worldly chattels and mov- ing into the next township, when the great, busy world is throbbing only fifty miles away, at Topeka? The most fun I’ve ever had was playing drop the handkerchief with two girl cousins and riding a horse to water. I'm going to Topeka and see the world!’ A few days later Arthur Capper turned up in that busy mart, when its principal point of interest was where the Santa Fe was going to put upa freight depot, with $2.40 in his wallet and an extra celluloid collar in his grip, and now this same Arthur Capper is being forced to run for Governor of the Sunflower State. Without a letter of recommendation or a single pull from a stock- holder or an uncle who advertised regularly in the Christmas number, Arthur Capper got a job as typesetter. It was not long until he was reporter, and next we find our hero sitting behind a frosted door that reads, ETAVIRP. He bought the North Topeka Mail when its circulation consistedof three hundred exchang- es, ten library subscriptions at half price, and the good-will of the en- gineer and forty newsboys. When he took an inventory of his plant, he found that he had six cases of eight point Roman and half a load of coal in the basement. This was his acorn, and the Capital is itsoak. His hobby came to be picking upa publication that had gone down for the last time, putting his knees in its back, working its arms back and forth a few times, and injecting new life into it. He has resusci- tated half a dozen papers and now owns the paper that he went to work on as printer, and has to threaten bodily violence to keep people from calling him Honorable.“ Ah don't ‘zactly know. OF INTEREST TO LAPIDARIES. “What kind ob ring am dat yoah fancy gib yo’, Ah think it am a satire.’ OINDEXTER, MILES—Miles Poindexter, the new Sen- ator from Washington, was born in Memphis, Tenn., of old Virginia stock, name blown in the glass, copper-stilled and bottled in bond, his father a General and his mother a Miles. After leaving prep. school he worked in a government fish hatchery, so that now when he goes on his vacation he can back up his story about the whopper getting away, with all its markings, the color of its eyes and a diagram of its fins, until the fellow who challenged him shifts his feet and turns the conversation to reciprocity. He went through college with his nose ina reference book and a towel around his head. At twenty-three years of age he landed in Walla Walla, Wash., with ten dollars in his pocket, a change of under- clothing and a law degree in his wicker suitcase. He set up a law office with ‘‘Private’’ lettered on the inside door ($3.25), and sat down to wait for clients. He waited so long that he had to break the other five-dollar bill for medi- cine for his aggravated case of rheumatism, and then went out to look for trade. In eight months he was married, and in five months more prosecuting attorney of the county. He is a light sleeper, never consuming more than five hours a night, more often burning up only four. While never west of Main Street, Walla Walla, Senator Poin- dexter is an authority on Igor- rotes, being able to tell the meaning and symbolism of every ring they wear in their noses and to enumerate all the fancy and scalloped dishes they sever from one horned owl or a trusting ca- nine, with an ear trained to catch the andantes and the capricciosos of their tom-toms. When he wants to have an afternoon off and a bully time all to himsclf, he goes into his library, puts a bunch of violets on the center ta- ble, draws the blinds half-way down and pulls out a book on the life and habits of the Igorrotes. His favorite indoor pastime is feedng the chickens which have iss Susan ?"" i the complete run of his place. comicbooks.com