Judge, 1911-10-14 · page 9 of 23
Judge — October 14, 1911 — page 9: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This Judge magazine page contains two distinct elements: **Top Cartoon ("Beauty in Distress"):** A chaotic scene showing a woman in distress while men in formal attire (appearing to be politicians or officials) scramble around her. The tower in the background suggests an urban setting. The satire likely critiques male incompetence or corruption in response to a woman's crisis—a common Judge theme mocking political bungling. **Bottom Illustration & Essay:** A domestic scene where a man (Mr. Clarence) asks about his sister Georgie's indisposition. The accompanying text is a lengthy, humorous essay about pipe-smoking—treating it as a serious matter requiring careful maintenance and warning against the "habit" pipes create. The tone is mock-solemn, satirizing both Victorian obsession with proper gentlemanly conduct and the affectations surrounding tobacco use. The overall page mocks bourgeois male preoccupations: their helplessness during emergencies (top) and their fussy, elaborate attention to masculine rituals like pipe-smoking (bottom). Tobacco advertising appears embedded throughout—typical for the era.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
ten Ihave not. The merchant unlades his merchandise of pipes upon the coun- ter, an invincible army of recruiting ser- geants for the monarch Tobacco. He surrounds them and you with a magic spell, discoursing cunningly on their merits, for to him all are good and the least good the best for you. Do not lis- ten, for he has you in his toils. Especially does he ji 344) | certain of anelegant work- { 1{1! | manship, glittering with silverware and amber, =| which same is a magnet to || the destruction of peace. And, before you know, you - will have taken to yourself something which will bring you grief. Well he knows that you will drop the pipe upon the homeward way, shattering its form, for he will have thrust upon you one compcct of meer- schaum, and your doom is sealed. If by chance you escape dropping it, walk steadily to the nearest river and cast it into the flood. Then only will you know peace. As to gift pipes, they may be set in the pipe rack for visitors whose polite- ness exceeds their knowl- edge of the art of smoking. It may not be amiss to Mr. Clarence—" sister Georgie—" sut's EITHER BEAUTY IN DISTRESS. say something concerning the habits of the pipe. Certain of them, in the hands of too lax masters, form a habit of going out, and, as they are ill provided with the means of re-entrance, they may be counted as lost. It is not so generally known as it should be that the pipe comes of a nomadic race, being prone to Sa EORGIE?” yk INDISPOSED, 1 PORGET WHICH.” wander at times. I have left a pipe snugly occupied with a book on my writ- ing table, and left the room. I have re- turned to find it hiding, and only after diligent search have I found it hiding in- side my slipper, in which place it is manifestly absurd I could have put it. I must caution you against encouraging any feeling of pride in a pipe, for it dearly loves to be puffed. Still, I cannot remember one betraying too undue satisfaction, though I have noticed evi- dences of that in cigars. The pipe should be well tended, for it has a habit of inward growth, loving to clothe itself within the bowl with a coat of carbon. And the manner of cure is this. Place within the bowl sundry flakes of to- bacco intermingled with gunpowder. Place the stem in the mouth, apply fire to the bowl, and draw. The interior will then be vented out at one end or other, and the master, if alive, will derive new joy from the pipe. There are some, less ingenious, who dose the pipe well with chloroform, which by some strange alchemy draws out the poison therein. Then, having lulled it to security, comicbooks.com