Judge — September 9, 1911 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A Light Summer Drama. Bs CARLETON G. GARRETSON. CT ONE—A hammock in the shade, A summer man, a summer maid, Her head upon his shoulder I Two hearts go pitter-patter. Act Two—His love he doth confess. He pops. She coyly answers, “Yes."" (He's known the girl a week or less, But, then, that doesn’t matter.) Act Three—He’s gone. He sends a ring, A frightfully expensive thing That makes the maiden dance and sing, And all her girl friends jealous. Act Four—The summertime has flown. The maid returns the lovely stone. (For summer girls are always prone To act that way, they tell us.) Act Five—Though ‘twas a cruel knock, He soon recovers from the shock— And goes and puts the ring in hock, Then blows the money wildly. Act Six—There’s none. The drama’s over. To say you'll see it many score Of times each year—yea, even more— Is putting it but mildly. A Filmy Occupation. 66 TONES is making a holy show of himself.” “Cutting up capers again?”” “No; he is taking part in a passion play for a moving-picture concern.” % { \ sat Ef Wa o7 THE ABQIAL “HITCH BEHIND.” 11 Ne MSO aes “I SAY, OLD CHAP, THESE STEERAGE PERSONS ARE AN ODD-LOOKING Lot! wHat ?” Let Bridal Couples Alone. FRECENILY in Somerville, Mass., an attempt as a joke to kidnap a bride resulted in several accidents of a serious nature. Often brides and grooms are made the victims of practical jokes, some of them barbaric and boisterous. Why do so many wedding guests regard the occasion on which the marriage cere- mony takes place as an opportunity for disorderly and unseemly conduct? These detract from the solemnity of marriage, and whatever it may be it is not a joke in any sense. When we read of the vul- gar and sometimes ruffianly doings at wedding feasts there is no wonder that the thought of divorce readily intrudes on the minds of young married couples. Truth about Diogenes. TIS SAID he sought an honest man Among the folk whom he might pass, But that he lugged, for constant scan, A lantern and a looking glass. Stung. «¢] HAVE a bee in my bonnet,”’ said the canfidence man, “‘Ha!”’ said his confederate. where some one gets stung.”’ How Could Jackson Tell? Master—‘‘Jackson, fetch my umbrella case.’" Valet—‘‘Here it is, sir.’’ Master (angrily)—‘‘Fool! That is my wife's new tailored suit!"’ “‘Here’s How To Live in a Barrel. By SIGMUND SPAETH. (CONSIDERABLE economy may be exercised by the intelligent use of a barrel. The versatility and manifold advan- tages of this homely utensil have never been so fully appreciated as in the pres- ent state of ‘high cost of living.”’ The barrel may serve equally well as a house, furniture, fuel, clothing, or food. Select a strong, clean barrel, pref- erably one which has contained sugar or flour. Set it in a cool place. It will be found that a family of three, if the in- dividuals are not too large, can live comfortably under its boards. At night the barrel may be turned on its side. Thus it makes an admirable bed. Knock the bottom carefully out of the barrel, . preserving the pieces for firewood.” By fastening straps across the top to fit the shoulders comfortably, the barrel may be turned into a simple but effective article of clothing. For evening wear, lengthen the straps, thus lowering the barrel a few inches. The Law Steps In. ISS PATRICIA JONES made her wedding dress When the happy day had neared; She was going to bake her wedding cake, But the health department interfered. John Nicholas Bef ENO is a great get-single-quick scheme. IT’S MORE EXCITING THAN IT USED TO BE. comicbooks.com