Judge, 1911-07-01 · page 9 of 24
Judge — July 1, 1911 — page 9: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
**"A Fourth of July Failure"** satirizes changing attitudes toward Independence Day celebrations. The joke depicts a child's failed cannon experiment using cosmetic powder instead of gunpowder—a humorous mishap reflecting actual safety hazards of fireworks. **"To the Boy of 1911"** is a sentimental poem by Estelle May Nolte addressing firecracker restrictions. Early 1900s America saw increasing regulations banning dangerous fireworks due to injuries. The poem consoles boys losing traditional July 4th explosives while suggesting they'll channel youthful energy toward productive adult accomplishments. **"A Kiss"** humorously defines a kiss through baseball metaphors, with different players offering sport-specific interpretations (stealing bases, bunting, catching, etc.). This is lighthearted wordplay with no deeper political meaning. **"A Gentle Hint"** is a brief comic dialogue about a sideboard's unseen interior condition—a conversational joke unrelated to current events. The page reflects Progressive Era safety reforms restricting fireworks while maintaining nostalgic, patriotic sentiment about American boyhood.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A MAGNIPIED GRAIN OP INDEPENDENCE DAY POWDER. A Fourth of July Failure. First boy—"Why don’t your cannon go off? Ain't it loaded?’’ Second boy—‘‘Yes; but I loaded it with a lot of white stuff I got out of a box labeled ‘powder’ in my mother’s bedroom."” To the Boy of 1911. By ESTELLE MAY NOLTE. HERE, little boy, don’t cry! They have taken your gun, I know, And your fireworks, too, And your cannon new, Belong to the long ago; But cheer up now and c There, little boy, don’t cry, Don’t ery! to sigh— There, little boy, don’t cry! They have stopped your noise, I know, And the shells and bombs That have burned your thumbs Are things of the long ago; But better things will soon come by— There, little boy, don’t cry, Don't ery! There, little boy, don’t cry! You are now growing up, I know, But you’re one of those boys Who will make a great noise That can help wake the world; and so You will hit the right mark, I’m sure, if you try— There, little boy, don’t cry, Don’t ery! A GENTLE HINT. Host—"" I picked up this sideboard at an antique shop. What do you think of it?"" Guest—"" | like it immensely as far as I can tell from the outside.’ A Kiss. 'HE Base-runner— To me itis steal- ing first, then second, then third—and then being coached (by father) to steal home. Batter—It’s a neat bunt into a garden of tulips. Fielder —It de- pends upon a pretty fair catch, Shortstop — If it takes a bad bound, it (| may get you squarely on the nose. Pitcher—-It is the g one thing I could never strike out. Catcher—It is a grand-stand play. Umpire—It is a game that is never called on account of darkness. comicbooks.com