Judge, 1911-07-01 · page 8 of 24
Judge — July 1, 1911 — page 8: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This Judge magazine page satirizes dangerous Fourth of July celebrations circa 1910s-1920s. The top cartoon shows fashionable families hoping for a "sane Fourth"—ironic given the era's rampant fireworks injuries. The story "Our Patriots" by Carolyn Wells uses a ghost-of-conscience framing device. Ben Bunker, an ordinary man who refuses to give children dangerous firearms, becomes the "greatest patriot" because he prioritizes safety over loud celebration. The satire inverts patriotism: true patriots protect children, not enable injury through fireworks. The "Proverbs" section mocks the holiday's carnage through dark wordplay ("A burnt child should fear the firecracker"). The bottom cartoon depicts children counting down before lighting explosives—a grim illustration of common Fourth of July accidents. The page advocates for "sane" celebrations over dangerous tradition, reflecting progressive-era safety reform efforts targeting fireworks-related injuries and child endangerment.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
C-BERTRAM HARTMAN act FATHER AND MOTHER ARE BOTH HOPING FOR “A SANE FOURTH." Our Patriots. By CAROLYN WELLS BOU BEN BUN- KER, on July the third, Awoke at night and thought a noise he heard; And, lo! within his Morris chair there sate A ghostly vision, writing on aslate, “‘What’s that?’’ inquired Ben Bunker, not much scared. “Oh, just a list,”’ the ghost said, ‘I’ve prepared Of noble patriots, whose names may stand A lasting honor to their native land.’” “And am I in it?”’ Bunker said. ‘‘What! You? Not much!" the vision jeered. Ben cried, ‘‘Skiddoo! But docket me as one, you bloomin’ jay, Who won't give children firearms, any- way!"’ The vision sneered, but he skiddooed all right, And wasn’t seen again till the next night. After the Fourth its deadly work had done, With rocket, rifle, cracker, bomb, and gun, Weeping, the vision came to Abou Ben And sat down in the Morris chair again. He showed his list—it was no time for jest— And, lo! Ben Bunker's name led all the rest! GPORETS are either too good to keep or people are not good enough to keep them. Proverbs of a Young Fourth of Juliar. T’S WELL to be Fourthwarned. Give me a sane Fourth or give me death, Let everybody rest while the fire- works, A burnt child should fear the fire- cracker. Every Fourth calls for a different kind of celebration. That which we call the Fourth, by any other name would smell as much of powder. He that shoots off a finger when young is sure to have a finger in the safe and sane movement when he gets to be a man. A word of caution B4 the 4th may avoid that word of caution from the doctor the next day. You can’t judge a man’s patriotism by the amount of noise he makes. If you have wounds to dress, the doc- tor will be glad to hear you say sew. 'Tis not sweet to die while celebrating for one’s country. William J. Burtucher, Willie, from over the wall—" saMMy, YOU HOLD ON "TIL 1 COUNT THIRTEEN POR THE THIRTEEN ORIGINAL STATES. NOW BE BRAVE, MY LITTLE MAN.” Sammy—" tHat's Dog—“ MAYBE EVERY DOG HAS HIS DAY, BUT THERE ARE OTHERS.” comicbooks.com